Home From Nowhere
by Devaney Walsh
Summary: When Tristan comes back from duty overseas, hurt and confused, Rory has to show him that there is really no place like home. An AU Trory story, set after Yale. FINISHED!
1. Letters

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

A/N: Hi everyone. I have decided to write a Trory fan fiction (as you can see). One thing you all should know is that Tristan and Rory are engaged. Now this fic is different then Last Train Home. It's and idea that just came to me, (its different than a lot of things I've written) and I would really like to do it justice. Even though it's in the early stages it means a lot to me. So I'm warning you now that I won't be updating as often as I do with my other story, because this one takes a lot more time to write. I hope you all enjoy chapter one, I am pleased to present Home From Nowhere.

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October 26 2006

Mary,

We made it here. I swear they should really have a sign saying "Welcome to Hell" at the base. Ok it's not that bad. Its worse this time because I have to be away from you. Last time I shipped off, it was just me and it was okay, I love what I do, but this time all I can think of is you. The rest of the boys are here too. Mike, Tyler, James, it's just like old times.

I miss you, and love you.

Tristan

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November 5 2006

Tris,

Just so you know, you suck at writing letters. Honestly its appalling, and that grammar, what would our grade 11 English teacher say!

"Hell" sounds horrible. Why don't you just come home. *Sigh* I guess its not that easy, is it? I wish it was, hmm I think that mankind needs to make some serious progress on that teleportation thing. It would come in handy.

At least the boys are with you. Oh I have some news, Alison just found out she's pregnant! Don't say anything to James yet, I'm not sure if her letter has gotten to him. I'm so happy for them!

I miss you too. More than anything. Mom and I went shopping for wedding dresses today; she was so excited to have a day without the twins. She left them at the diner with Luke; they were so excited to spend the day with daddy! I didn't find anything, although we stopped by Victoria Secrets and mom had fun embarrassing me. I did buy one thing there, but that's just going to have to wait until the honeymoon babe! (Okay I'm not that mean, it'll just have to wait until you get home!)

I love you. Be safe.

Rory

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November 30 2006

Mar,

Sorry its been so long since I wrote. We were travelling through some pretty chaotic country (security wont let me say where we were) and there wasn't time. One of our troops was killed today, and three injured. It was a nightmare, one minute we were patrolling through this residential area and the next there was smoke and blood and everything was in pieces. Shit, I don't know if you want to hear this, if it freaks you out let me know.

Don't worry too much about me Ror, I don't take chances, at least not stupid ones. I'm as careful as I can be in this business.

James ran around the base when he found out. I've never seen the guy so happy, actually obsessed would be a better term! When Ty and I got back to the tent yesterday he was stapling ultrasound pictures to the canvas!

I have to go. I love you.

Tristan

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December 5th 2006

Babe,

I hate this season without you. It's too cheery. Sorry Tris, but with mom busy with the twins and Paris gone, and Lane with the boys, I just really miss you.

Its okay you can talk about anything you want to, the only thing that's freaks me out is the fact that you are anywhere close to all of this. Please be safe Tristan, I want you back in one piece that's all I ask. I just want you home and in my arms. Soon.

I love you Tris, come home to me soon.

Mary

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December 20th 2008

God I miss you to Mar!

It's the whole holiday season, and my not being able to see you. I just wish I was home. 4 more months, 4 months until I can finally hold you again, and I have to tell you, I'm counting the seconds. How are the wedding plans coming, hmm do you think its okay to get married the day I get back, cause I don't think I could wait any longer. Hmm Mrs. Rory DuGrey, I like that, I really like that.

I won't be able to write to you for awhile. Actually I'm not sure how long it'll be. The guys and I have been given an assignment that will keep us out of communication range for awhile. I'm sorry Ror but that's all I can tell you.

Don't worry about me, I'll be okay, I promise.

I love you Mary, with all my heart and soul, I love you.

Tristan

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Rory re-read his letters over and over again. It had been over a month since the last letter and she couldn't help the panic building in her throat making her breath uneven. The last line in the last letter scared her. He never talked like that, especially when he was away. She could hear the tinge of desperation in his voice and it scared her, more then she wanted to believe.

The was a knock at the door and she stood up, trying to convince herself that her hands weren't shaking. Ever since the first time he shipped off she had developed a deep fear of doors. And although she denied it she knew it was because one of these days it might not be a girl scout with cookies.

Alison, Jill and Kate were standing there; wearing desperate expressions that she was sure matched her own.

"We couldn't sit at home any longer." Kate said her voice cracking and Rory hugged her feeling the bond of the wives of soldiers.

The four women sat on the couch, Alison resting her hand on her stomach. The clock ticked by slowly.

"They were supposed to be back in communication range 2 weeks ago." Jill said.

Rory nodded a lump in her throat. "No news is good news." She managed to choke out. But the words didn't help.

Alison's eyes brimmed with tears. "I just want him back." She cried "I want him and my baby in my arms and I want to never let him step on that damn plane ever again." Kate rubbed circles on her back.

Rory knew how she felt. Waiting was the hardest part. That and knowing that you sent him off with a kiss and a wave, and that it might be the last time you saw their faces. Rory shook her head not wanting to think, especially not of something like this. She took a breath and thought to herself. "If-" not 'if' she corrected 'when' "when Tristan comes home, I'm not letting him go again, I don't think I could." She sighed and decided that not thinking was the best thing she could do. Instead she opened her mouth to offer the girls drinks.

Suddenly there was another knock at the door, a commanding noise, and the four women jumped startled by the sudden interruption.

Rory walked down the hallway, her legs leaden. The walk to the door suddenly seemed longer and as she walked her eyes caught on the picture of her and Tristan arms wrapped around each other smiling and for some reason Rory couldn't stop the tears from springing to her eyes. She reached the door and opened it, with shaking hands again. It swung open to reveal two men, in uniform.

Rory suddenly couldn't breath, the air caught in her throat and without warning her knees trembled under her weight not able to support her. She gripped the door handle as a lifeline.

"Are you Ms. DuGrey?" one of the soldiers asked.

Tears poured down her cheeks at the name. Tristan had listed her as his wife before he shipped off so that she could get access to communication with him. But also so she would be the first to know if…if something happened. She nodded.

"We regret…"

They were cut off by Jill, Kate and Alison coming up behind her. "Rory what wrong?" Kate asked.

Rory couldn't speak. She felt numb, and frozen. She wanted to run away every self preserving instinct she had screamed at her to go and hide from what she was sure was coming. But she couldn't, she was frozen to the spot, and although she willed her legs to move they wouldn't listen.

"Ms. DuGrey? I'm really sorry to tell you this but Commander Tristan DuGrey has been injured in the line of duty."

"Injured." She repeated. Injured meant alive, and the air came flooding back into her lungs at this one word that for some reason brought her so much hope.

"Yes Ma'am."

"He's alive though right? He's okay?" she said finally finding her tongue.

"Yes ma'am he's alive."

"How bad is he hurt, what wrong, how did this happen???"

"I'm sorry ma'am but we don't know any more then this."

Rory started to sob harder; she didn't know whether it was in relief or in fear of what she still didn't know.

"Excuse me?" one of the soldiers asked.

"Yes?" she said wiping her eyes on her sleeves.

"Do you know where we could find the wives of Michael Conner, James Marks, and Tyler George?"

Kate stepped forward, always the strongest of the four. "I'm Kate George and this is Alison Marks and Jill Conner."

The second soldier suddenly got pale, and then turned a little green. Rory worried about what he had to feel sick about. "If you don't mind ma'am this would probably be easier to explain if we could come in."

Kate blanched and held the door open wordlessly, letting the soldiers in. Rory felt like she was welcoming death into the house.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, and I apologize for the cliffhanger, but believe me it was a good place to end it. Please take the time to review; I would love to get your feedback. Thanks to my incredible beta that read and edited this while I was on the phone with her. Yes Anne I am aware that I talk too much!

Devaney


	2. If

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and my own ideas.

A/N: Here is Chapter Two. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and read this story. This is completely unedited because I wanted to post it sooner than later. I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes there may be.

Chapter 2: "If''

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Rory led the way to the living room. Her legs were shaky. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

The soldiers took a seat opposite the four women and one took a deep breath. "This is unusual."

Rory and the others kept their mouths shut; if she was being honest Rory would admit that part of the reason was that she was worried she'd be sick if she didn't.

The other soldier spoke up "Generally we are only allowed revealing a certain amount of information, but this case is different." He paused "As you know six weeks ago your husbands were sent on a Special Forces mission that took them out of communication range. In fact not even their commanding officers knew of their whereabouts. A week ago we received an s.o.s message from the team."

The second soldier continued "They still couldn't find their position and many officers assumed the worst. But last night they came crawling back in to camp. Commander DuGrey was seriously wounded and we still have no word on whether his condition is stable."

Rory went numb again, she felt like she was dreaming. Kate reached over and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

The officers continued "Commanders George and Marks were severely dehydrated, and commander Marks had suffered a gun shot to the leg."

Allison burst into tears. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and let the tears pour silently down her face.

"Both are now in stable condition and will recover fully." Kate held onto one of Allison's hands and murmured 'thank you' over and over again. Rory felt some of the weight life off her chest, happy that James and Ty were okay. She realized that the men hadn't said that Tristan was expected to recover and she felt the panic build up again.

Soldier one sighed heavily "Mrs. Connor?"

"Yes." Jill said her voice breaking.

"You husband was carried back to camp by his friends. Commander DuGrey was injured in the process." He took a breath "It is our deepest regret to inform you that Michael Connor was killed in the line of duty."

The soldier didn't finish his sentence before Jill cried out. She buried her face in her hands and rocked back and forth her whole body shaking with sobs. Rory felt tears pool in her eyes and she walked over to her friend, wrapping her arms around Jill. Allison and Kate were crying to, and they came over to comfort Jill. The four women sank onto the carpet, crying for both what was lost and what was saved.

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The soldiers had excused themselves leaving the girls to their grief. They couldn't tell them any more and the thought was driving Rory crazy. She desperately wanted more news about Tristan. Jill was inconsolable tears pouring down her cheeks. She sat wordlessly rocking back and forth, completely hysterical. Rory's hands shook as she carried mugs of coffee from the kitchen, the mugs clinking together. Kate took them gratefully from her hands and handed one to Allie.

They sat in silence for a minute, the only sounds were Jill's sobs and the 'tick, tick, tick' of the clock. Then Allie started crying again. Kate wrapped and arm around her.

"Sweetie, it's okay, shh, shh."

"I...I still can't believe it. I was so close to loosing him."

"But he's okay." Rory said "James is going to be okay."

"It's not fair, though." Allie replied "It's not fair that I had to even face that."

Both Rory and Kate opened their mouths to comfort their friend but were interrupted by Jill. "He's alive Allison. He's still breathing and soon he'll be home again. Stop crying for God's sake. You husband is alive! Mike-"her voice cracked "Mike, is never coming home. I don't ever get to see him again. HE'S GONE! So shut the hell up about how scared you are! You have nothing, NOTHING, to be upset about!" With that Jill got up and grabbed her coat storming out of the house.

Rory jumped as the door slammed, tears pooling in her eyes as Allison's sobs started again.

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Later that night Rory lay in her bed. Her and Tristan's bed. She pulled his pillow to her face, searching for his smell. She knew she wouldn't sleep. She hadn't since he shipped off, she needed him beside her.

She walked over to the closet and picked up on of his sweatshirts. She wrapped it around her trying to find solace. She crawled back into bed, hugging his pillow.

It wasn't until much later that she realized the pillow was soaked with tears. She cried harder, she couldn't remember how he smelt anymore. And it scared her. She couldn't feel him in the house. He had been gone for so long.

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Rory was numb for the next two weeks. She was numb and jumpy, if it was possible to be both at the same time. She went to work mindlessly, came home, and went to bed. She couldn't feel anything. There was no news. All anyone could tell her was that he was in serious condition and that if his condition became stable they would send him home as soon as they could. She hated the word 'if' it jus left too much to fate.

She jumped every time the phone rang. Every time a car drove by the house, and every time there was a knock at the door her heart sped up. She could feel her throat closing off and the panic building in her stomach.

It was never anything bad. The phone was her mother, Paris and Lane calling to check on her, making sure that she was eating; it was weird that they had to do that. The cars were normal people living normal lives, people who didn't have to live in constant panic like she did. The doorbell was innocent girls selling cookies, their angelic faces completely untouched by the nightmares and realities of the world. Kate came by; stopping in one in a while, her way of coping was staying busy. Allison had gone to stay with her parents. And Jill, well no matter how hard anyone tried they couldn't get a hold of her.

This was as close to hell as Rory could imagine. It was a nightmare, and the scariest thing was that it was real.

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Rory walked into the office, towards her desk. She had become immune to the concerned stares that people sent her way.

She sat down and hit the power button on her computer, the whirring noise comforting her by its normalcy.

"Gilmore." Her boss said walking over to her.

"Yes sir?"

He shuffled his feet, looking insanely uncomfortable "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." She lied, she had become very good at this lying thing. If she didn't lie she would fall apart.

"That's good." He cleared his throat "Good work." He said and walked away.

She glanced at the clock, only 6 hours, 12 minutes and 10 seconds until she could go home.

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Walking into the house she kicked off her shoes leaving them by the front door. She went into the kitchen looking through the near empty fridge for something edible. She pulled out some leftover Chinese food and put it on a plate in the microwave.

She ate robotically, not tasting. She flipped through the news channels on t.v. but she couldn't stand to watch. It was all too close to home.

She trudged upstairs brushed her teeth and pulled on his sweats, it was the only thing that really brought her comfort.

She sent out a silent hope for three things. That Tristan would be okay and come home, and that she would fall asleep quickly to avoid the pain of being alone and having to think. The third one was her back up plan. She hoped for strength, because she knew that if the first two didn't happen that she was going to need it.

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"Ring, ring!"

Rory sat up startled by the phone. She glanced at the clock, 2:35 a.m. She looked at the phone as though it was the devil. There were only two reasons for someone to be calling this early.

Each ring of the phone seemed drawn out as reality crashed down on her. Her hand shook as she reached for the receiver. Her heart was pounding out of control, so strong that she was worried it would leap out of her chest. Every nerve in her body was alert, panic coursing through her veins instead of blood. She suddenly felt dizzy and realized it was because she wasn't breathing. She sucked in a shallow breath. And picked up the phone her hands trembling so badly that she was worried she would drop it. She brought it to her ear and closed her eyes tightly.

"Hello?" she asked.

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A/N: I apologize for the cliffhanger, and hope that you enjoyed the chapter. Keep reading and reviewing. Chapter 3 should be up within the week. Thanks to all of you who take the time to leave a review.

Devaney


	3. Home

Sorry for the lack of updating! Life is a little less crazy so I had a second today to type up chapter three. A warning to all of you that this chapter is not beta-ed. I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer.

As always read, review and enjoy!

Devaney

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Chapter Three: Home

Rory burst through the hospital doors, pulling her sweater tighter over her pajama top. She rushed down the hallways and stopped at the nurse's station. She whipped her head around searching for any sign of the familiar face that she had missed for so long.

"Can I help you miss?" A nurse asked walking toward her.

"No…yes." She did a double take as a blond man walked around a corner. "I'm looking for Tristan DuGrey."

The nurse's face became instantly sober "He's not here Miss."

"Of course he's here." Rory insisted "I got a phone call twenty minutes ago telling me to rush down here to see him!"

"No ma'am I mean he's gone."

"Well tell me where he is damn it!"

The nurse shook her head sadly "Ma'am we lost Commander DuGrey less than 10 minutes ago."

Rory looked bewildered still not understanding "How could you loose him? He's a patient for God's sake!"

The nurse placed a hand on Rory's shoulder "Commander DuGrey is gone from us Miss, he died."

"No." Rory said shaking her head "No!" She insisted again, louder this time. "He can't be! You just called me down here! I'm supposed to see him, talk to him."

"Ma'am we can take you to see him if you like."

"No, no, no." Rory repeated again and again "I need to hear him, I need to see him. He's alive, he can't be dead." Tears poured down her face as she sank to the ground. "He promised me, he promised me he would come home."

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Rory Gilmore bolted up in bed her whole body shaking from the dream. She had been having that dream ever since he left.

"It's okay." She said out loud. "He'll be home tonight." She took comfort that the phone call wasn't bad news. Tristan was being sent home. The fighting had gotten worse and they wanted to get him out. He would be home soon. She smiled thinking of finally seeing him again and the shivered. She felt guilty but she was afraid, afraid of what she'd find when she went to the hospital.

Glancing at the clock she sighed. Another 4 hours until visiting time started and she could finally see him again. Why did four hours suddenly feel like forever?

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She burst through the hospital doors desperate to see his face. She needed to see for herself that he was okay; she couldn't quite believe it until she did. She tore down the hallway like a maniac not caring, she stopped only when she reached the nursing station.

"I'm looking for Tristan DuGrey." She demanded.

"Are you family miss?" the nurse asked.

"I'm his fiancé." She said defiantly.

The nurse shook her head slowly "I'm sorry but we've been told not to allow anyone who isn't family in to see him."

Normally Rory would reason with the women, convince her that she should be let in. But tonight reason had no effect. She needed to see Tristan.

"I'm sorry I don't think you heard what I said." Rory replied "I am going to see my fucking fiancé, you are going to tell me the damn room number and I couldn't care less about fucking hospital regulations cause IF I DON'T SEE HIM NOW, WELL ITS GOING TO GET UGLY!"

"Ma'am-"the nurse tried to interrupt.

"Just tell me the damn number!" Rory yelled.

"3026" the nurse replied.

"Thank you." Rory said as she turned and ran down the hall.

3020….3022…2024…she took a deep breath as she got to the door. This is what she'd been waiting for; she had been waiting to see him for months. But she couldn't help but be scared; she didn't know what she would find. She turned the handle.

She took a sharp breath in shock. Tristan was lying on the hospital bed. His face whiter than the sheets. She could see that his eyes we closed, but that was it. His face, head and forearms were covered in gauze. She could here the beep of the heart monitor and the beat of her own heart as it tried to pound its way out of her chest. She walked over to the bed slowly wringing her hands together. Never in all her years of knowing him had she seen him so still.

She sat down in the chair beside the bed. She didn't want to touch him, afraid of disturbing the masses of medical equipment he was hooked up to. She just looked at what little of his face she could see, willing those eyes to open.

She was so concentrated that she didn't even look up when someone walked into the room.

"You must be his fiancé." The female doctor said breaking the deathly silence of the room.

Rory nodded, not quite sure how to speak.

"The nurse you scared is still hyperventilating behind the desk."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." The doctor smiled. "She got between you and someone you love; I would have done the same thing."

"I needed to see him." Rory responded quietly. "How is he?"

The doctor sighed "What do you know so far?"

"Nothing. No one would tell me anything."

She smiled sadly "The military does like its secrets." She shook her head and reached over for Tristan's chart. "He broke his leg in 3 places. He was shot in the back, thankfully not near his spine. The bullets were removed and there was no lasting damage." Rory nodded in obvious relief.

The doctor continued "The main problem is the burns. Apparently one of his team was killed, the building was on fire." Rory sucked in a breath tears brimming as she thought of what happened. "His friend had been killed, but Tristan wanted to bring the body back. He crawled back into the flames to get hid friend and that's when most of the damage happened. He has second and third degree burns on 60% of his body." The tears in Rory's eyes ran down her cheeks as she looked down at the face on the bed.

"Will…will he be okay?" she asked not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"He's stable, and he's strong. Medically he should recover." Rory looked into the doctor's eyes and saw deep remorse in them.

"What?" she asked as the doctor hesitated.

"I've seen dozens of men come back wounded. I've saved almost all of them from their physical wounds." She sighed "It's the wounds beneath the surface that are the worst. Those are the ones that kill them. The problem is with those wounds we can't kill the pain." She smiled sadly "He's really going to need you."

Rory nodded beyond words. "Thank you."

The other woman nodded "He should wake up soon. We sedated him while we treated the burns, but I don't think he was even feeling the pain. All he's been asking for is you." With that she turned and left the room.

Rory wiped her eyes, trying to stop the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. It was in vain, she felt the stress, the worry, the terrors of the last weeks overwhelm her and she started to cry. Soon she was shaking with sobs, they were uncontrollable and she felt herself gasping for air. She cried for Mike who didn't come home, she cried for Jill and for Kate and Allie. And she cried for relief.

"I'm not dead yet." A low voice said. She looked up shocked, not sure of what she'd heard. All she saw was a pair of blue eyes staring back in to hers.

"What?" she asked dumbstruck.

His voice was low, and horse "I'm not dead." He said bluntly.

"No you're not." She repeated and then started crying again. She leaned forward resting her head on the edge of the bed. She knew she should stop, that she should be staying strong for him but she couldn't control the tears.

She stopped as she felt his fingertips brush her hair lighter than any feather. "Shh baby." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry." She said pulling back and wiping her nose.

"It's okay." He said and she knew he wasn't just talking about the crying.

"How do you feel?" she asked trying to pull herself together.

"Like shit. I'm all doped up on morphine." He said weakly and she could tell how much talking was hurting him.

She reached out to tentatively hold his hand. "Does this hurt?"

"What doesn't." he replied "But don't stop." He added as she started to pulled away.

"I love you." She said softly.

He struggled for a breath "I…kept…my promise." He said slowly.

She just looked at him questioningly.

He struggled again before he spoke "I…made it…home."

"I never doubted you for a second." She saw him wince as he tried to smile.

She watched as his chest rose and fell slowly. She could see him struggling to keep his eyes open against the pain. She wished she could be in that bed instead of him; she would to anything to make him hurt less.

"I love you." She repeated again.

"Love…you…too." He replied struggling with each word. She watched as his eyes closed and his breathing got deeper. His eyes opened again "Don't…go." He asked.

"There's no where else I want to be." She said. His eyes drooped shut and didn't open again. His breathing was deep and even as he drifted to sleep.

She pulled her chair closer to the bed, keeping her gentle grip on his hand. A solitary tear ran down her face.

He was home.

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Okay so I hope you enjoyed it. This was a really hard chapter for me to write, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though.

Tristan is back! Finally! But don't worry if you're thinking that all the drama will end, I have a couple more ideas up my sleeves!

Keep Reading!

Devaney


	4. How Could I

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Hey everyone. I apologize that it has taken me forever to post this chapter. It took me a while to get it to the standard I wanted it to be, but it is finally complete. Thanks to everyone who reads, and reviews. Enjoy!

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Chapter Four: How Could I

Rory stirred as the sun rose, shining through the blinds on the window. She  
had fallen asleep in the chair, keeping her promise to him that she wouldn't  
leave. She yawned as the rubbed her neck; she was going to have a kink in it  
from sleeping sitting up all night.

She looked down to the face on the bed. He was still sleeping, painless for  
at least a little while longer. The sunlight threw his injuries into relief  
and she noticed the huge cast on his leg. He had dark circles under his eyes  
and she swore that there were more lines on his face then there had been  
when he left. They weren't laugh lines. She reached down to stroke his  
fingers careful not to wake him. She could see a long pink scar from his  
palm to his elbow that he hadn't had when he left.

She had seen him hurt before. When he broke his leg falling off the icy roof  
while putting up Christmas lights. When he broke a rib going paint balling  
with James, Mike and Ty (they had a slight tendency to get over exuberant).  
But it had never been like this. But he was home and no matter how badly he  
was hurt that was all that mattered to her.

She was startled from her thoughts when she felt him stir. He opened his  
eyes and she smiled.

"Please...say...I'm not dead."

"Why would you say that?"

"Cause...you...look...like an...angel." he replied and she smiled at the  
attitude she had been without for so long.

"How are you feeling." she asked.

She got her answer when he grimaced while taking a breath. "That bad huh?"

"Not...really."

"Liar." she accused.

"I've been... worse."

"When?!"

"When...you jumped...me ...at that...party." he said a hint of the familiar  
smirk on his face.

She laughed at the memory; they were at his parents Christmas party. The  
first time he had seen is parents in 3 years. He was in his uniform and she  
had never believed the adage about men in uniform more than she had that  
night. She had ambushed him outside the bathroom...and they had made a party  
of their own. Two lamps and a picture frame had been massacred.

"Funny boy" she responded.

The nurse walked in, to take the morning vitals.

"You're smiling." she commented to Tristan.

Rory laughed.

"What's so funny?" the nurse asked.

"You should see him really smile. I swear it made the sun look dull."

"Well we should get to see you smiling like that again soon." She said scribbling something on his chart before leaving the room.

"The…sun?" he asked when she had left.

She nodded, "Only because there is nothing brighter."

He laughed, if you could call the face he made he made a laugh. "Ego…boost." He said hoarsely.

"Stop talking Tris you're hurting yourself."

"I'm…fine."

She sighed. There was no reasoning with him when he was in one of these moods. He could be such a stubborn ass when he wanted to be.

"Good morning Commander DuGrey." The doctor announced as she walked into room. "And good morning to you too Ms. Gilmore." She walked over to Tristan's chart. "How are we feeling today?"

"Fine."

The doctor laughed. "Okay Mr. 'Fine' we need to run a few more tests."

"He should be back up in his room in a few hours." She said to Rory.

"Okay." Rory said unwillingly.

"Get…coffee…I'll see you…soon." He could see the worry in her eyes.

She nodded and left. She didn't realize how much it hurt to leave him again until she walked through that door. Rory walked blindly down the hallway, eventually she would find the cafeteria but for now she just wanted to walk.

It was weird. That was the only word for it. The way he was talking to her, the way he was cheery. It was false, she knew him too well to not see past his lies. She sighed heavily because until he wanted to talk there was no getting through to him.

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The next few weeks past by in monotonously, but Rory found the repetition strangely comforting. Repetition was good, it was standard and solid. Tristan healed, the gauze on his face had been removed and the burns on his arms and left leg were healing. He was expected to make a full recovery. The doctors encouraged him to use crutches to get moving again, but he refused.

She walked into the room bringing a bag full of stuff. "Morning."

"Hi." He said not looking to see her.

"I brought you some stuff."

"That's nice."

She tried not to roll her eyes at his attitude; instead she rummaged though the bag. "A couple pictures from home, one of me, and one of a bunch of people, I brought the teddy bear that my mother go for you. Umm let's see what else, I brought some clothes, oh and I brought you a new book. I promise no really long Russian names this time."

"Fine. Just leave it on the table." He said without looking away from the TV.

"Tristan." She said sighing.

"Rory." He repeated patronizingly.

"Fine you know what I'm going to grab a cup of coffee."

"No prob." He said completely ignoring her again.

Rory paused for a second waiting for him to say something, to say anything, but he kept his gaze fixed on the television. She spun on her heel and marched out of the room not wanting him to see the tears running down her face.

He had been like this for a few days. His moods kept changing and his temper flared at the strangest things. Sometimes he would be dejected staring at the wall and wouldn't talk to anyone. Sometimes he would laugh and joke with the nurses, but the laughter never reached his eyes. And other times, like today, he was just rude. The doctor had suggested letting him talk to a physiatrist, but when she brought it up he ignored her.

She sighed as she poured her umpteenth cup of coffee; she came to the cafeteria so often that most of the people there knew her by name. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall as she took a sip, relishing the moment of peace. She would never give up on him, even though everything he was doing was hurting her.

She stood up and dumped the cup in the garbage. Her phone started vibrating and she pulled it out of her purse.

**I'm coming down there this weekend. No arguing. You can't do this all by yourself.**

Rory flipped the phone shut. Her mom clearly wasn't going to take no for an answer this time. She closed her eyes as the elevator started to move. Lorelai was right; she couldn't do this by herself any more. When Tristan had come home she had lost her support group. James and Ty hadn't been sent home, they were still oversees fighting until their tour was don't. Allison and Kate had basically disappeared leaving her without the support that she had taken for granted. Rory didn't understand it, just because Tristan was home didn't make things better. The problems didn't go away just because she was seeing his face in person and not on some fuzzy video screen. Jill was the only one that Rory couldn't blame. Even with Tristan being the way he was Rory couldn't imagine not having him at all.

She had unconsciously made her way down the hallway to Tristan's room, it was a well worn path for her now and she didn't even have to think about where she was going her feet moved on their own.

She was two doors away when she heard a crash. She stopped in shock knowing that it was coming from Tristan's room. A nurse rushed past her bringing her back to reality and she followed.

There were shards of glass everywhere. On the floor, the bed and the chairs. There was smoke coming from the TV whose screen was shattered. On the end of the bed was a picture.

The nurse laid a calming hand on Tristan's shoulder but he flinched and shrugged her off.

"Get that fucking picture away from me." He said tonelessly. The nurse looked around confused.

"MOVE THE FUCKING PICTURE!" he yelled making both the nurse and Rory jump. Rory walked over to the bed, carefully avoiding the shards.

"Tris…" she started to say.

"Why the fuck would you bring that here Rory?" he asked. "ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT!" he yelled louder than before and Rory flinched, each word cutting worse then the glass on the floor.

She stood there in shock. Another nurse ran in wielding a sedative which she smoothly injected into his IV, even as Tristan struggled and cursed.

He fell back onto the pillows struggling to keep his eyes open. He met her glance for a second "How…could…you." He slurred before his eyes shut.

Rory stood there for what seemed like eternity. She stood there as someone came in with a broom to sweep up the glass. A nurse walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder guiding her from the room. She walked Rory over to a bench, pressed something in to her hand and then walked away.

Rory could feel the hallway closing in on her the wide space compressing around her. She stood up and walked to the elevator pressing the button for the parking garage. Her brain was numb, performing the tasks necessary for self preservation.

She walked over to her car, which was parked in the same place it had been since the first night in the hospital. She turned it on and pulled out of the garage. It was pouring in rain. She drove mindlessly until she reached the park. Turning off the engine she listened to the rain pelting on the windshield. Rory clenched her hand into a fist, and realized that she was still holding what ever the nurse had given her. She opened up the folded square to reveal the picture that she has placed on his bedside table earlier.

In the back row, third from the left, standing beside Tristan with his arm wrapped around a smiling Jill was Mike Connor. He was grinning at the fact that James was struggling with the camera. Rory felt her throat close off as she stared at the crumpled picture of a man who would never smile again.

Tristan was right. How could she? How could she have missed Mike's face in the picture when she grabbed it off the coffee table?

She wrapped her arms around herself. Sitting alone in her car in the pouring rain she let herself be taken over by sobs. She closed her eyes trying to escape but all she could see was Tristan's face as he screamed.

"How could I?" she said choking out the words as her sobs were drowned out by the rain.

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A/N: Whew, it's done! I hope you all liked it. The winter break is starting soon so updates should be happening quicker. Please review and let me know what you think.

Devaney


	5. Taking a Break

A/N: Alright so here you are chapter 5. Now before I let you get to reading I have a couple of things to say.

First off thanks to all the amazing people who review this story, I'm so glad that you all like it.

Secondly as most of you can probably tell I respond to most of your reviews (if I haven't then give me time, it takes a while) so if you have any suggestions, corrections or questions, I will get back to you.

This is for my anonymous reviewer michelle: to answer your comment as briefly mentioned in chapter one Tristan changed Rory to his next of kin (he basically lied and wrote her down as his wife). Now I'm sure that there are many nasty legal connotations with this but for the story's sake we'll just ignore those.

Okay I'm done…I promise!

Read and Enjoy!

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Chapter Five: Taking a Break

Rory stumbled through the door of the house. She tripped over the threshold the contents of her purse scattering in the hallway.

"Shit." She mumbled shaking her head. It seemed like some divine entity really had it in for her. She glanced in the hall mirror as she picked herself off the floor. She had mascara stains running down her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hair a mess. To put it bluntly she looked like shit. She ran a hand through her hair only to have it get stuck in a tangle. She sighed heavily; it had been a long day.

Her cell phone buzzed somewhere. Digging through her purse and then looking on the floor she finally found it where it had slid behind a table.

"Mom?" she said tiredly as she picked it up.

"Rory what's wrong?" Lorelai asked knowing that something was wrong after only hearing one word.

"It's just been a bad day."

"What happened is Tristan okay?"

"Yes…no…I don't even know anymore."

"Rory?" Lorelai said again, really concerned now.

"Mom." She said quietly running her hand through her hair again. "I really don't want to talk about it right now."

"Ror…" Lorelai started to say something but Rory cut her off.

"Mom I can't talk about this right now. Not talking is the only thing that's keeping me together right now and the second I open my mouth I'm going to lose it."

Lorelai didn't say anything. But she did begin to throw things into her suitcase faster.

"Mommy?" Rory said after a while.

"Yeah baby?"

"Come down here. I need you." She whispered.

"I'm on my way."

Rory took a shaky breath as she hung up the phone. It wasn't often in her life that she had admitted that she needed help. But looking around the empty house she knew that she needed her mommy and she wasn't afraid to admit it.

She curled up in the spare room bed. She couldn't stand to sleep alone in their bed any more. It was just too big for her, she couldn't face climbing into that bed a night without having his arms wrap around her waist.

She pulled the blanket up around her and closed her eyes, falling into a fitful sleep.

_She was walking down the hallway of the house when she stepped on something. She looked down to see a picture frame face down on the floor. She turned it over to reveal a picture of Tristan. His face and arms were burnt and bandaged there was blood running down his cheek. _

_A noise in the kitchen had her running down the hallway. Tristan was lying on the floor. Looking exactly like the picture. Something warm seeped though her sock and she looked down to see her sock turned red with blood. She fell to her knees and shook him. Over and over again. And when he didn't move, she started to scream._

"RORY!" he mothers voice yelled.

She sat up her head searching wildly around the dark room. Her shirt was soaked with sweat and she was shaking.

"Rory, baby it was just a bad dream." Lorelai said wrapping her arms around her daughter just as she did when Rory was a little girl. "It wasn't real, whatever it was it was just a dream."

"It was so real." Rory whispered. "I thought it was real."

"Shh, sweetheart, its okay, Mommy's here and I promise I will make everything okay."

"But what if you can't?" Rory choked out as her tears slowed.

Lorelai didn't have an answer for that; she just pulled her daughter closer. Rory drifted back to sleep wishing that she was a little girl again and that her mom could walk in and scare the monsters away.

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Rory woke up to the sun shining on her face through the window. She turned over desperately wishing that she could just fall back asleep and not have to get out of bed today. She turned over and pulled the blankets over her head. She had had the weirdest dream; she dreamt that her mom had shown up, it was really vivid.

"Rory?" Lorelai called as she walked through the doorway.

"Mom?" she asked shocked.

"Sweetie why do you look surprised that I'm here? You called me yesterday and said you needed me and I came."

"But it's a two hour flight. How did you get a ticket?"

"Bribed some guy." Lorelai responded. "I'm joking." She said when her daughter didn't laugh.

Tears brimmed in Rory's eyes.

"Rory?" Lorelai asked concerned.

"I'm really glad that you're here." Rory sobbed "I don't think I can do this on my own any more."

Lorelai placed the mugs she was carrying in the dresser and then climbed into bed with her daughter pulling her into a hug.

"I don't want to have to do this." Rory cried "It's not fair."

"I know sweetie, it isn't fair. Things like this never are."

"What if he doesn't get better…what if…"

"Rory, you need to believe he'll get better. It might not happen over night but he will get better."

"I miss him." Rory said wiping her eyes. "I miss the old him. Tristan was always my shoulder and without him it feels like part of me is missing."

Lorelai looked into her daughter's eyes "You my brilliant daughter are so brave. I don't think that I could handle this. You are so strong and I know that you can do this."

Rory nodded. "I think I know that. It's just hard to sit in the hospital day after day and never see him any better. It's hard to watch him suffer and not be able to do anything about it."

"I know baby."

"If I could take his place I would. But it's not just the physical injuries; I could handle it better if he was just hurt. But I can't take the emotions; I don't know what I can do to help him. He won't talk to me about what happened and he won't let me in. How am I supposed to help him is he wont let me?"

Lorelai sighed, "Maybe you should worry less about 'helping him'. He obviously went through something horrible and he needs time to get over it. Maybe you should just try to be there for him."

Rory shook her head "That's what I'm doing. I'm trying my best but it just doesn't seem good enough."

Lorelai looked around the room thoughtfully "Honestly kid, I think you need a break. You've spent more hours in that hospital then some of the doctors do."

"But…"

"No buts, you can't help Tristan if you don't take care of yourself."

"But I need to see him mom."

"So go later today. But for this morning we are having a mother daughter day."

"Okay." Rory said nodding reluctantly. She looked in the mirror at her worn out, tired reflection and realized that Lorelai was right; she couldn't help him if she couldn't help herself.

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"Rory are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Lorelai called from the couch.

"It'll be better if I go alone. I don't know what kind of mood he'll be in and it's better if you don't see him like this."

Lorelai turned on the couch sending a concerned look at her daughter "As long as you're sure kid."

"I am mom." Rory walked over to her mom and pulled her into a hug. "Thanks for coming mom, and for the retail therapy and the manicures, you were right I needed it."

"My pleasure baby." Lorelai whispered into her daughter's hair.

Rory stood up and headed to the door.

"Hey Rory!" Lorelai called "I grabbed the mail while you were in the shower it's on the hall table, oh and how do you feel about Chinese for dinner?"

"Sounds good mom!" she replied absentmindedly while she flipped through the mail "Bills, bills, bills." She muttered under her breath, she stopped when she came to an envelope addressed to her and Tristan. She slid her finger under the seal, and flinched when the paper nicked her finger making it bleed. She sucked on the cut as she pulled the paper out. The card had two sentences in black ink.

**In Memory of Michael Cameron Connor**

**The military funeral service will be held at 3 p.m. on Wednesday.**

Scrawled in Jill's familiar hand writing at the bottom was a note.

Rory,

Please come to the service. I'm sorry for being so out of touch, but I miss seeing you. Thanks for the flowers and chocolate. And please ask Tristan to come, Mike would want him to be there.

-Jill.

Rory closed the card. But she could still see the world swimming before her eyes _Mike would want him to be there._

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Hey all! I'm alive!!! I am so sorry for not updating sooner, but if you have checked out my profile page you would see that this story is actually on hiatus, because I really wanted to complete Last Train Home. But this story is addictive and I just couldn't stop writing. So here you have it.

This is a bit of a cliff hanger, but I promise that all will be explained in the next chapter!

Devaney


	6. Talking

A/N: Hey everyone! Okay so I would like to apologize for not updating but life is life and it is really busy. So without further blabbing on my part I am pleased to FINALLY present chapter 6.

Chapter Six: Talking

Rory climbed out of the car and strode confidently towards the hospital. Each step was even and marked, she was walking like a woman on a mission.

She strode through the doors and towards the elevator, the heels she had stolen from her mother clicking against the linoleum, giving her a rhythm to walk to.

She waved to the nurses on Tristan's floor, she new them all by name now. "Hi Linda how was your son's soccer game?"

"They won, for once." The perky red haired nurse replied. "He's in a good mood today." She said nodding towards Tristan's room.

Rory smiled and took a deep breath wiping her hands on her jeans before stepping into the room. It looked like the catastrophe from yesterday had never happened, the glass was cleared away and the TV had been replaced.

"Hey Tristan." She said softly. He was facing the window but he turned when she walked into the room.

"Hi." He said quietly.

She walked tentatively into the room and took a seat on the chair. "I'm sorry." She whispered not meeting his eyes.

He nodded, his eyes cold.

She took a breath and continued "I'm trying my best Tristan." She said her voice cracking "There's…there's no handbook for this. I'm not sure if I'm making things worse but I am trying. I just want you to get better."

His gaze softened "I know." He swallowed "I know your trying, but I… I can't do this yet."

She lifted her eyes to meet his "You can't do what?"

"Talking, smiling…" he trailed off as she interrupted him.

"I get that, its okay." She hurried to say.

He held up his not bandaged hand "Rory let me talk."

"Okay." She said nodding.

He hesitated "Come here." He said gesturing to the bed. She rose from the chair and moved slowly to the bed where she sat on the edge.

He reached out with his good hand an held hers. "Rory I love you. Despite all….this" he said gesturing to the room "the way I feel about you hasn't changed."

Rory desperately wanted to cut in but she bit down on her bottom lip and stayed silent.

"But" he said "I can't do us right now."

"What?" she said pulling her hand out from his. "What did you just say?"

"Rory…"

"No." she said standing up

"Rory please."

"No Tristan I am not listening to this." He tried to interrupt again, she could feel the sting of tears behind her eyes "I did not just go through hell for you to tell me that you don't want me anymore!" she clenched her hands into fists "I didn't spend the last months going through hell, not sleeping through the night, spending every minute worrying about you to have you give up!"

"MARY LISTEN TO ME!" Tristan yelled over her. She turned to face him. "I'm not giving up damn it! I'm not right…" he laughed bitterly at the look at her face "I haven't slept in months Rory. You think that you went through hell? You have no idea. I wake up every night hearing the screams of people dying! I saw people blown to pieces, entire families murdered or even worse when one person survived, and has to face life alone. I saw shit you couldn't dream of, stuff that I pray no one else has to see!" he took a breath and swallowed "I'm not good enough for you, not anymore."

"You're wrong!" she said with conviction.

"Rory you deserve better than me." He ran a hand through his hair in a familiar gesture "You deserve better than the way I've treated you."

"Tristan you've been through hell. I get that but I'm not willing to give up on you."

"I can't get married Rory." Tristan's voice broke. "I'm sorry but I can't do this right now."

Rory stared out the window at the building next door. She thought about what he was saying, what he was asking her to give up. He was worth it. "I told you that I'm not going anywhere Tris. But we can put the engagement on hold if that's what you want."

Tristan nodded. He looked so…upset. She couldn't find another word for it. She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his hand. "Tristan…what happened?"

He wrenched his hand away from hers. "I don't want to talk about it!" he snapped. Her face fell and he reached his hand out to place it back in hers. "At least….not now."

"Okay." She said nodding.

"I'm sorry." He said. "Yesterday I was…"

"It's okay." She said.

They sat there, not talking, just sitting. It was nice, Rory though to be able to sit by him again.

She sighed knowing that she had to talk to him "Tristan?" she whispered breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the envelope she had gotten earlier. "This came in the mail today."

He took it from her. She watched his face carefully waiting for the explosion she was sure would happen. It didn't, he just swallowed, and the hand holding the envelope shook as he set it down on the sheets.

"My uniform." He said his voice hoarse.

"I'll take care of it." Rory said knowing what he meant.

"Will you…will you go with me?" he asked quietly.

"Of course." She replied.

"Hey Rory?" Linda said poking her head through the door "I hate to have to tell you but visiting hours are over."

"That's okay, thanks Linda."

"I guess I should go." Rory said turning back to Tristan.

He nodded, "Thanks for coming." He said for the first time since he got home.

She smiled. She looked down at her left hand and slowly pulled off her engagement ring. "Here" she said placing into in his palm and closing his fingers around it.

"Rory…"

"It's fine…just….just let me know when you're ready." She stood up and grabbed her purse and walking towards the door.

"Hey Tristan?" she said pausing, her hand on the door handle.

"Yeah?" he replied his hand still clenched around the ring.

"Come home soon okay?" and left.

He nodded at the closed door.

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Rory walked down the hospital hallway, coffee mug in hand. "Hey Linda, Jane." She said smiling at the nurses. They all grinned back.

"What's going on?" she asked stopping. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You'll see." Linda said while Jane burst in laughter.

Rory broke into a run for Tristan's room. He was sitting on the bed his legs dangling over the side, crutches leaning against the table beside him. But that wasn't the biggest shock, gone were the hospital gowns. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

He cleared his throat. "Can I come home?" he asked.

She dropped the coffee cup. "I thought you'd never ask." She said breaking into a smile.

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"Home sweet home." She said opening the door.

She nearly skipped into the foyer and tossed her purse on the table. She turned to look at him hesitating on the threshold. "Tristan it's still your house you can come in."

He nodded his face still expressionless and swung the crutches over the threshold.

"You painted the living room." He said quietly after a moment of silence.

She nodded "Jill, Allison, Kate and I painted it a week after you shipped off."

He nodded "I like it." he said without feeling.

"We can change it if you don't." she replied quickly.

He shook his head "No I really do like it."

"Okay…" she trailed off not knowing quite what to say. "If you can make it up the stairs I'll bring your stuff and you can get unpacked."

He nodded "I can make it." he paused "Do you want me to stay in the spare room?" he asked uncertainty.

She paused and shook her head "Actually I've been sleeping there."

"Why?"

"I missed you too much." She replied simply grabbing the bag and heading up the stairs.

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"Tristan we have to go." Rory said pacing the hallway downstairs. She rummaged though the closet for her black coat.

There was a crash upstairs. "Tristan!" Rory yelled taking the stairs three at a time. She walked into the bedroom to find Tristan on the floor.

"I'm fine." He said wincing as he pulled himself off the ground "I put too much weight on my leg, it gave out."

Rory let out a breath and grabbed his crutches from where they were leaning against the wall. "Here." She said passing them to him.

"How do I look?" he asked straightening the hem of his jacket with one hand. He was wearing his dress uniform.

She swallowed the lump building in her throat. "You look great." She said walking towards him. She reached up to straighten his tie. "there." She said stepping back.

"Thanks." He said.

"It's just a tie Tris." She replied.

He shook his head "No I mean thank you for coming to this with me."

She reached over and squeezed his hand. "I'll meet you in the car." She said and walked out the door.

They arrived at the cemetery in less than twenty minutes. The drive didn't seem to be nearly long enough to prepare them.

Rory climbed out of the car and was greeted by Allison. "It's so good to see you Rory." She said pulling her into a hug.

Rory nodded "You look good." She said pulling back. Allison placed a hand on her stomach.

"Thanks."

"Do you know where Jill is?" Rory asked.

Allison nodded "She's over with her mom right now. Rory, I'm sorry about disappearing…" Allie trailed off.

Rory nodded "It's okay." She said and the walked toward the direction that Allison had pointed.

"Jill." She said walking up behind her. Jill turned around. Her face was drawn and her eyes were red-rimmed but she smiled slightly when she saw Rory.

"I'm glad you made it." she said. "Thank you." Rory pulled her friend into a hug.

"Jill I am so sorry."

Jill sniffed and wiped her eyes "I am too. I didn't act like much of a friend."

Rory shook her head "Don't worry, you had other things on your mind."

Jill nodded "Where's Tristan."

Rory looked around "He was here." She said. The two women were interrupted by the start of the ceremony.

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Rory had looked around for Tristan through the entire ceremony, but she couldn't see him anywhere. Afterwards she walked around the cemetery and found him sitting by a grave his crutches leaning up against a nearby tree.

"Tristan." She said quietly walking up behind him.

"Hey." He said softly.

"What are you doing over here?"

He gestured to the grave in front of him "Jonathan Camden, was a member of our team went Mike and I were shipped out two years ago. A sniper was targeting Mike, and Jon jumped out and took the bullet for him." He paused and swallowed "it was an armor piercing round. He gave his life for his team." Tristan trailed off "I should have done the same."

"Tristan…" Rory started to speak but Tristan stood up.

"Let's go home." He said his eyes not meeting hers.

"Okay." She said. She didn't know what was happening but she wasn't going to press him, at least not yet.

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A/N: Okay so I hoped that you all enjoyed this. I promise to update more often, I've actually got the next few chapter almost finished.

Please review, I love to hear what you think!

Devaney


	7. The Story

A/N: Hey all! Okay so I'm warning you now that this chapter is short, not because I didn't work on it, actually this chapter was the most difficult thing that I have ever written EVER! I just think that this chapter stands better where I left off then it would with another 2 pages of useless filler.

Chapter Seven: The Story

Rory climbed into bed pulling the blankets up around her. She lay back and stared at the ceiling of the spare room, more importantly at the hole in the middle of it.

She sighed remembering how two summers ago when they moved in Tristan was determined to renovate and add a skylight to this room. He was going to turn it into a library for her. But they got distracted and instead spent a week christening all the horizontal and vertical surfaces of the house.

She heard the dishwasher turn off downstairs and suddenly the house was much more silent than before. Tristan had locked himself in the study when they got home from the funeral, and then had crawled into bed long before he intended to sleep, leaving her alone in the big house.

She rolled over on her other side and flipped the pillow over; it was still hard to get comfortable without him next to her.

"Stop…" his voice suddenly filled her ears. She froze and waited. "Don't go in there! That's an order!" he said.

She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed "Mike damn it don't" he said again getting louder this time.

She realized he was sleep talking. "Mike, stop!" he yelled.

A chill went down Rory's spine as she realized what was happening. He was reliving the night that Mike died.

She sprang out of bed and across the hall. She walked into the room. He was tossing and turning on the bed, when she reached out a hand to his shoulder she realized that he was drenched with sweat.

She shook his shoulders and his eyes shot open. "Don't." he said gasping. He looked wildly around the room not knowing where he was.

"Tristan, it's me." She said firmly.

"Mary." He said his voice hoarse. "I was there…" he said.

"It's okay Tris." She said "You're home now."

"It was my fault." He said shaking. "I should have stopped him."

She took a deep breath "Tristan what happened?" she asked quietly. He stiffened, but didn't pull away from her.

"We lost communications." He said quietly after a few minutes. "We were supposed to run a simple retrieval, but we lost our communications. We made it to the objective. James and I were supposed to go through the front of the building, Mike and Ty were supposed to watch the back." He shuddered "It was supposed to be easy; in and out quickly. But Mike wouldn't listen."

Rory wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"I told him not to go through the back door. It just felt like something wasn't right, it was a gut feeling, but he just called me crazy." Tristan looked up at Rory "They knew we were coming." He said "The back door was rigged."

He closed his eyes. "Mike disobeyed an order and…he broke down the door, and this explosion went off. Ty was blown backwards and James and I rushed around to help them. James took care of Ty and I ran in after Mike…" he trailed off and reached a hand out to Rory who grasped his fingers tightly.

"He was on the ground. The bomb had blown apart half the building and the rest was in fire. A metal pipe had been blown off the wall and…and had gone right…through Mike's chest."

Rory felt her stomach churn.

"There was so much blood…I couldn't get it to stop. There was blood all over my hands. I tried." Tristan said chokingly "But I couldn't stop it. He died in my arms Rory. He was right there fine…joking about me being crazy and then he was just gone."

Rory squeezed his hand but he was in his own world. "James came running in after me. A beam from the ceiling broke and swung down on top of where Mike and I were. I was trapped, I couldn't move my legs. I thought…I though I was going to die there. But Ty comes in after James, he was bleeding from the head and the two of them managed to lift the beam off my legs. But I wouldn't go…not without Mike."

Rory felt her breath catch, she could see what happened. She could see Tristan refusing to leave without his friend.

"I ordered them to leave." He said quietly "I told them to get out, gave them a direct order but they wouldn't leave. The three of us pulled him out of the wreckage. We sat there on that hill. And after a while we got up and headed back, we couldn't call to be picked up so we just walked. I carried Mike home the whole way. I didn't even realize I was burnt or that my leg was broken, I didn't think it was real…" he paused "When we got back to camp they took Mike away, but I still had his blood all over my hands." He reached up and wiped his cheek and Rory realized that he was crying "And no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get his blood off my hands."

"I should have stopped him. I should have made him listen." Tristan paused "Why the hell wouldn't he listen, why didn't he listen to me?" He said repeating it over and over again.

"It's not your fault." Rory said wrapping her arms around him "It's not your fault." She repeated over and over again, holding him in her arms as he cried.

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Rory woke up to the glare of sunshine on her face, which was odd since the spare room has southern exposure and was only sunlit in the afternoon. She opened her eyes slowly rolling her stiff neck from side to side.

She realized immediately why there was sun, and the night's events came flooding back. She looked down at Tristan who was still asleep his arm draped across her waist. She touched his cheek with her hand.

She took a sharp breath as he started to shift. She cursed in a whisper regretting waking him up for the first time in months he had seemed peaceful.

He opened his eyes. "Morning." She said quietly.

He wrapped his arm tighter around he waist "Morning." He whispered his voice rough.

"How did you sleep." She asked quietly.

"Better than I have in months." He said softly not meeting her eyes. "I'm sorry about last…" he started talking but Rory pressed a finger to his lips silencing him.

"Don't…I'm glad you told me."

Tristan nodded. "This is nice." He said after a while.

"What is?"

"Holding you again." He said and then pulled back.

Rory smiled "I never asked you to stop." She teased.

"Oh really?" he said really smiling for the first time since he got home.

She sat up and put her hands on her hips. "What are you going to do about it?" she asked.

"This." Was all he said before starting to tickle her.

"Tristan Janlan DuGrey stop it right now!" Rory gasped in between bouts of laughter.

"Why?" he asked laughing too.

"Because…." She broke down as he attacked her sides "Because if you don't I swear I will kick you in the shins!"

"Well we can't have that now can we…" he said stopping and pulling her against his chest.

She rested her head against his t-shirt and took a deep breath.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

She pulled back "I'm smelling you."

"Why?" he asked laughing.

"Because" she said indignantly "I missed your smell."

"Really?" he asked laughing.

"Yeah really." She said smiling.

"Okay." He said accepting her reason and pulling her close again.

"Okay." She agreed whispering into his shoulder.

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Please Review, it encourages me to update sooner!

Devaney


	8. Flashback

Chapter Eight: Flashback

"It's weird." Rory said on the phone with her mother. "Its like we're getting to each other all over again…"

"Are you sure I can't kick his ass for breaking off the engagement?" Lorelai asked.

"Mommy you said a bad word!" said Lorelai's son Jace in the background.

"Yeah mom!" Rory teased hearing her brother. And mentally making a note to thank him when he was older.

"I'm going to go tell Daddy!" Jace declared.

"Not again." Lorelai muttered "I gotta go kid before Luke takes my coffee away as punishment but remember that a- I mean butt kicking offer is still open."

"Bye mom." Rory laughed hanging up the phone.

She sat back on the couch and picked up a copy of Cosmo that Lane had sent her. She was reading a particularly informative (and dirty) article when Tristan walked into the room his crutches clacking against the floor.

"It's really hard to sneak up on you with these things." He said leaning the crutches against the wall and hopping over to sit beside her on the couch. "What are you reading?" he asked.

She blushed and shoved the magazine behind her back. "Nothing. I hate reading."

Tristan laughed "Ha, you hating reading! That's how I know the world is coming to an end!"

"Shut up…hey aren't you supposed to get that cast off soon?"

"Next week." He replied "Although I'm not looking forward to going back into a hospital."

"Well we could always take just your leg into the hospital."

He snorted "Yeah that would work well."

She laughed "Well it was a valid suggestion!"

"Hey Mary?" Tristan asked suddenly serious.

"What's wrong" he asked automatically.

"Nothing." He smiled "I was just wondering if you would like to go on a date with me tonight?"

"Of course." She said. "But you have to do the laundry first."

"Rory, you know that I hate laundry."

"Exactly." She said.

"Fine." He sighed and leaned over. He kissed her cheek just as he reached behind her and grabbed the Cosmo magazine. "Got it!" he said triumphantly jumping up from the couch on one foot.

"Tristan give it back!"

"No way!" he joked flipped to the page that she had dog-eared. "Hmm interesting…" he said reading "I've got to say that position twelve looks pretty good to me."

Rory blushed but managed to snatch the magazine out of his hands. "Well you'll just after to see if you get lucky tonight." And with that she walked out of the room leaving him staring after her.

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"Where are we going Tristan?" Rory asked as they climbed into the car.

"Not telling." Said Tristan who was in the passenger seat because of his leg "Turn left at the next light."

Just give me a hint." She pleaded

"Okay it has something to do with our first real date down here in Carolina, when you came down to visit from Yale and I was in Military College."

(Flashback)

_Tristan stood leaning against a wall. It wasn't a comfortable wall, but he knew he looked cool. It was stupid reasoning, but even after coming to military school he couldn't quite rid himself of all of the old Tristan. _

_The new Tristan loved weekends. It was true, if anyone asked him what had changed the most about him, it was his sudden passion for weekends. When you get up at the crack of dawn every morning, sleeping in 'till nine was a luxury. And this weekend he was leaning against a wall, at 6 a.m. And it was all for a girl. Two years ago he would have rushed to the nearest doctors to get a CAT-scan if he was waiting for a girl. The King of Chilton, waited for no one. But he wasn't The King any more, he was just Tristan._

_The girl was special. And psychotic, it was a nice blend to have in a relationship. And as much as he hated to admit it he was hooked. All she had to do was smile and he was a mess. Of course he would never tell her that, he still needed his pride. He was whipped, and he was okay with it. Which is why he was leaning against a wall at the airport, he was waiting for her. _

"_Nice hair." She said pulling him out of his own little world. _

"_Look who's talking." He said smirking at her 'plane hair'._

"_Well at least I still have hair." She quipped and he unconsciously reached up to touch his buzz cut._

"_You look good." He said changing the subject._

"_That's all I get? I fly all the way down here just to see you and I get a 'you look good'." She huffed as he pulled her down a hallway._

_She was cut off by his sudden kiss. He was kissing her like there was no tomorrow. This was what she'd missed…him. He pulled back and smirked at her heavy breathing. "You…" he said kissing her neck "look, incredible."_

_She couldn't even form sentences. _

"_Speechless Mary?"_

"_Only around you." She said seriously, pressing a soft kiss to his lips._

_He wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her tight to him as they walked out of the busy airport._

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"_Well this is it, home sweet home." He said gesturing to his room._

"_Well…its, clean." She said holding back a laugh. The room he shared with three other guys was so clean it scared her. She new that Tristan was a neat freak, but this was insane._

"_It the rules." He said in response to her face._

_She nodded. There were two sets of metal bunks against the walls. There was a table and two shelves. The room was almost barren, and the only colour came from the flag hanging on one wall._

_Tristan walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "God I missed you." He whispered in her ear sending shivers down her spine._

_She turned in the circle of his arms "How much?" she asked._

"_So much." He mumbled in to her hair, breathing in her smell._

"_Get a room." a male voice said, and Rory jumped._

_Tristan laughed as he sat down on one of the beds. "Great, give my girl a heart attack Ty!"_

"_Hey." The young man protested "I'm just glad I didn't walk in later." He said laughing._

_Rory blushed and Tristan pulled her down onto his lap laughing at the colour on her cheeks. "Ty, this is Rory."_

_Ty smiled his green eyes twinkling "Ah, so you're the famous girlfriend."_

"_Famous?" she asked looking between the two guys._

_Ty smirked "Yeah Tris here almost made us sick this week talking about how thrilled he was that you were coming!"_

"_Thanks man." Tristan said ducking his head._

"_You were excited eh?" Rory asked._

_Two other guys walked in before Tristan could respond. One was wearing just a towel. _

"_Shit man!" he swore "Someone could've warned me there was a chick in here!"_

_Ty just laughed holding up a camera "I would've James but it's so much better to have a picture of your face!"_

"_What the hell!" He swore again "Give it to me!" James lunged for the camera knocking Ty to the ground, and losing his towel in the process._

"_Fuck guys!" Tristan swore tossing a pair of pants in their general direction and then covering Rory's eyes. _

_The other guy, who had been leaning against a wall up until this point walked over and smacked Ty on the head "Will the two of you fuck off, we have company."_

_The boys grudgingly stopped fighting and James pulled on the pants as he stood up. "Yes sir!" Ty said and mock saluted "asshole" James muttered under his breath._

_Then all four of them broke in to laughter leaving Rory more than a little confused. _

"_Ror, I want you to meet my jackass roommates Ty, James and Mike. Jackasses this is Rory."_

"_Hey." Ty said._

"_Well I feel like we've known each other forever, probably because you've seen more of me then my latest girlfriend has." James said._

"_I apologize for these idiots." Mike said "It's nice to meet you."_

"_Stick…up…ass." Ty coughed pointing at Mike's head._

_Tristan turned back to Rory smirking "And as you can tell you definitely got the pick of the group."_

"_Hey man, that's insulting." James said smirking "Maybe now that she's seen what I have to offer she'll choose me instead of you."_

_Ty started laughing and even Mike chuckled but Tristan silenced them all with a look. "Not anywhere near funny James."_

"_Alright." Mike said interrupting "I vote we all go out and get completely wasted that way this conversation will be a little less awkward." He stood up and grabbed his wallet, the other guys stood up to join him._

"_We don't have to go with them unless you want to." Tristan said to Rory._

"_It's okay, I don't mind going out."_

"_Tristan you coming?" Ty called._

"_Yeah hold on we're coming."_

_They drove out to a bar that looked like it was right out of Top Gun. "I feel like I'm in the movies." Rory said as she looked around._

"_Huh?" he asked._

_She smiled "I keep expecting Tom Cruise to walk through the door."_

"_I'm infinitely better looking then Tom Cruise is though." He said smirking._

"_I don't know about that. Maybe James was right." She teased._

"_Not funny Baby." He said as the boys returned with drinks._

"_Beer Tris?" Mike asked._

"_Sure."_

"_What about you Rory?"_

"_No thanks." She replied._

"_Suit yourself." Ty said as he flopped down onto a stool._

_Rory sat their and listened to the guys talk. "I'm sorry Rory." Tristan said as the boys went back up to the bar for seconds._

"_It's okay, I'm just glad you're here, it doesn't really matter to me what we're doing."_

_He smiled "How about we go dance?" he asked and grabbed her hand pulling her out onto the floor._

_He wrapped his arms around his waist and she twined her arms around his neck. _

"_What are you thinking about?" she asked him as a new song started to play._

_Tristan pulled her closer and kissed her long and slow._

"_What was that for?" she asked._

_He smiled, not a smirk but a real smile. "That was because I love you."_

"_You love me?" she asked worried she hadn't heard him right over the music._

"_With all my heart."_

"_I love you too." She said and kissed him almost knocking him over._

"_Whoa there!" he said stroking her hair. "I think you're stronger then I am." He kept his arm wrapped around her as they walked back to the table._

_James had his arm wrapped around a blond girl and Mike was talking to a pretty brunette by the bar. _

"_Hey Ty." Rory said as they sat down. "You look lonely."_

"_I'm not lonely." He replied "I have my good friend Guinness to keep me company." He gestured to the glass in front of him. _

"_You need to find a girl man." Tristan said._

"_Hello there sailor." A pretty blond said to Ty as she walked by._

"_You're not a sailor." Tristan laughed_

_Ty shrugged and drained the rest of his glass "She was close." He replied and winked as he walked off after the girl._

"_Hey Tris?" Rory asked. _

"_Yeah."_

"_I really got the pick of the group." She said and kissed him._

Rory shook her head coming out of her revere. "Tristan are we going to…"

"If I told you it would ruin the surprise just stop guessing and take a right at the next intersection."

Rory did as she was told but couldn't keep quiet for long. "Tristan where are we going the bar is the other way."

He just smiled "Who said that we were going to the bar? Now no more questions we'll be there soon enough."

They said in silence until he spoke again. "Pull over." He said Rory obeyed but couldn't figure out where they were going.

They got out of the car, Tristan pulled his crutches from the backseat and started walking down an overgrown path.

"Tris! Slow down!" Rory called.

"C'mon Mary! Don't tell me that you can't keep up with a cripple." He teased but stopped. He waited for her to catch up. "Okay close your eyes." He said and guided her forward balancing awkwardly on one crutch.

"Open them." He said and she did. She looked around. They were in a grassy clearing, she could see a lake in the distance, but she couldn't understand why he had brought her here. "I don't get it." she said turning to face him. He was staring at the heavy dark clouds in the sky.

He smiled knowingly "Just wait." He said.

So she did. She stood their in silence hoping that he would give her a clue. They stood there in silence for 5 minutes before she just had to ask.

"Please Tristan give me a clue."

"I promised you something that night." He said.

(Flashback)

"_You already know my most embarrassing moments." Rory complained as Tristan smirked._

"_C'mon Mary!"_

"_I don't have any." She protested. "Why don't you tell me yours?"_

_He shrugged "Don't have any that you don't know." He said._

"_Fine." She paused "Then tell me what you're biggest fantasy is."_

"_You." He replied automatically._

"_C'mon Tristan be serious."_

"_I am being serious, you are my only fantasy." He paused and thought "Although if you still have that Chilton skirt of yours I'm sure I could be creative."_

_Rory blushed hoping that the dark room would hide her face. It didn't. _

"_I can't believe you're blushing." He teased, pulling her close._

_She just blushed more. He kissed her head. "So what's you're fantasy?" he asked._

"_I don't have one." She replied._

"_C'mon Rory, you have to have one. I promise I won't laugh."_

"_Fine." She said turning her head and mumbling into his chest._

_He laughed "I didn't quite catch that."_

_She raised her head "I said, I've always wanted to be kissed in the rain."_

Rory was brought back to reality by a drop of rain on her cheek. She looked up to the sky and then back at Tristan in awe.

"I promised you that one day I would kiss you in the rain." He said.

"I can't believe you remembered."

He looked at her seriously "How could I forget?' he said just as the clouds opened up and the rain poured down. I a moment that took her breath away he grabbed her hand and pulled her near him. Their fingers intertwined as his crutches fell to the ground. And then he was kissing her and she thought her heart would explode. The world faded away and all that mattered was his arms around her and his lips on hers.

She pulled back for a breath. "You're amazing." She said over the sound of the rain.

He pressed his forehead against hers "Only because of you." He said against her lips before kissing her again.

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A/N: Et voila! Chapter Eight, I hope you liked it, and even if you didn't I hope you review it encourages me to write faster!!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!! It took me forever to write this chapter and I would love to hear your input!


	9. Reunion

A/N: Sorry this took so long. Enjoy!

Chapter Nine: Reunion

The last week had been a blur. It was one amazing moment after another, even after all her years of knowing Tristan he could still take Rory's breath away.

It was Rory's last week working from home, she had to get back to the office and Tristan had planned something for each day. Amusement parks, a drive in movie, and a night spent in their own backyard, made it seem like all the terror had never happened.

Last night they had sat out on the front porch talking for hours, about everything and about nothing at all. Rory rolled over in bed searching for him familiar warmth, but couldn't find it. She climbed out of bed and pulled an army t-shirt of his over her tank top and shorts.

She walked downstairs towards the delicious smell of pancakes. She entered the kitchen to see him clad in only boxers standing over the stove. "Well aren't you just perfect." She said wrapping her arms around him from behind.

"Hungry?" he asked not turning away from the stove.

"Starved." She sat down at the table and opened the paper, putting it down within a moment.

"Not depressing enough?" he asked from the stove.

"Too depressing." She sighed "I've decided to reject the reality of the world and instead live in my own little universe."

"Good plan." He said turning around, she could see the dark circles under his eyes and knew that he hadn't slept.

"You didn't sleep at all did you?" she stated.

He shrugged "Not really."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"Rory its fine, plus you need some sleep too."

"Fine." She said inwardly cursing herself for being such a heavy sleeper. She noticed the light flashing on the answering machine. "Messages." She said walking over to it.

She pressed the play button.

"Hey Rory its Lane, the twins' birthday is coming up and I just wanted to invite you and Tristan…" Rory pressed save cutting Lane off.

"Hello this is some very important person calling to tell you that Carolina sucks and that is why you should move back to Connecticut because Rory's mommy misses her!" Rory just laughed and deleted her mother's message.

"Rory, Tristan this is Kate." Rory froze and Tristan spun around. "I have amazing news Ty and James are on they're way home! I just wanted to let you know when and what gate at the airport they'll be at…." Kate's voice kept talking but Rory didn't hear any more of it. The two of them just stood there even after the answering machine had clicked off and the pancakes had burnt.

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Rory grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor of her closet and tugged a t-shirt off a hanger.

"Rory where's my army shirt that you always steal?" Tristan called. They were in a rush James and Ty's flight was supposed to arrive in 15 minutes.

"It's on the chair near the bed." She called back shedding her pajamas. It was a tradition that everyone would go to the airport to meet the ones who were coming home. They weren't going to miss it now.

"Where are the keys?" Tristan yelled.

"How am I supposed to know?" Rory called, trying to walk down the stairs while pulling on her Converse.

Tristan was pulling cushions off the couch looking for the keys. Rory shook her head and rolled her eyes. She walked over to grab the keys off the hall table.

"Tristan you are such a guy they were right in front of you!"

Tristan winked and grabbed the keys "And you're such a woman for pointing that out. Let's go." He said and grabbed her hand.

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"Rory over here!" Allison yelled as they came into sight waving wildly.

"Hey!" Rory said as she approached "Wow you're really pregnant!"

Allison just laughed "Well if you hung out with me more often this wouldn't have come as such a big surprise."

Rory blushed "I'm sorry about not being around…"

"Rory its fine." Allison assured her "I just mean that I miss hanging out with you and Jill and Kate."

"Me too." Rory said as Kate walked up.

"Wow this feels like déjà vu." Kate said.

"Yeah, except…"Allison trailed off. Rory knew that they were all thinking the same thing. Usually it was four of them waiting for their boys to come home.

"Did you call Jill to tell her?" Rory asked.

Kate nodded "I left a message letting her know and I told her that she was welcome to come but that there was no pressure."

"Can I break in on the girl-time?" Tristan asked coming up behind Rory.

"No." the three said in unison.

"Fine then I'll just…" Tristan trailed off staring at something behind Kate's head. The girls turned.

Walking through the gates were two men in uniforms.

Kate cleared her throat tears brimming in her eyes. "TYLER ADAM GEORGE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND KISS ME!" she shouted.

Ty's head shot up and he broke into a smile and a run racing towards his wife. James visibly laughed grabbing the bag that Ty had dropped before he too broke into a run.

Ty picked Kate up and swung her in the hair before crushing her in a hug.

James stopped in front of Allison with a huge smile.

"Well don't just stand there like a fool." She said laughing. "Give me a hug and say hello to your son!"

"Son?" he asked.

"It's a boy." She replied. James' smile grew and he wrapped his arms around his wife.

Rory smiled at the scene's still she couldn't help feeling a little out of place amongst all the intimacy. She reached for Tristan's hand and squeezed it. He was smiling but there was sadness in his face too.

Ty and James let go of their wives and pulled away turning to Tristan. They saluted.

"For God's sake," Tristan laughed "How come I can never get you idiots to salute when I'm in uniform but you do it when I'm not?"

"Cause it annoys the hell out of you." Ty suggested. The boys hugged and clapped each other on the back.

"It's good to be home." James said.

"It wasn't the same without you Tris…" Ty trailed off but everyone knew that he meant without Tristan and Mike.

The stood in awkward silence faces somber.

"You boys look like you're at your grandmother's funeral." said a familiar voice "Honestly I thought reunions were supposed to be happy?" It was Jill. She smiled at the group but she looked uncertain.

Rory stepped forward and hugged her friend "I'm so glad that you're here." She said, meaning every word.

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"Next round's on Tristan!" Ty called walking to the bar. They had all decided to go out for drinks and were crowded around a table.

"Ty all the rounds have been on me." Tristan called back rolling his eyes.

"Well then there is no reason for us to change the pattern now." James declared leaning back in his chair and wrapping an arm around Allison.

"You're such a cheap-ass James." Allie declared.

"Hey I just got home, shouldn't the name calling start tomorrow?"

"She's right." Rory agreed. "You've been cheap since the night I met you and you made Mike pay for everything."

The table went quiet at the mention of Mike's name.

"Mike wouldn't have paid for him, James never pays anyone back." Jill said breaking the silence.

Rory cleared her throat "James said that he'd forgotten his wallet. But that was a lie."

"Hey how did you know that?" James asked not denying what she said.

"Your wallet was in your back pocket." Rory responded.

"Oh so you were checking out my ass." James declared, he turned to Tristan "I told you that she liked what she saw that day."

"Not so fast James." Tristan said smirking "the story isn't done yet."

"Your wallet was in your back pocket and when you went off to chase the girl you met that night it fell out. I remember because Ty found it and used it to pay for his last round."

"Wow, your right." James said "That girl dumped me because I borrowed money from Mike."

Ty walked back to the table and sat down. Everyone looked at him. "What's going on?" he asked.

"You owe me twenty bucks." James declared seriously and the rest of the table burst out into laughter.

"Add it to my tab." Ty replied.

The group laughed again. "I'm moving." Jill announced out of the blue when the laugher died off.

"What?" Allison gasped.

Jill nodded "I don't think I can stay here any more right now. I mean there are too many memories…" she trailed off.

Kate reached across the table to squeeze her friends hand. "You better keep in touch. Or else I swear I will drag you back here."

"And I'll help." Rory added, slowly getting over the shock.

Jill smiled slightly "Don't worry I'm not moving to Mars just maybe somewhere up North."

"Well then we need a girl's night," Rory declared "Why don't you three come back to my house and we'll leave the boys to discuss, whatever it is that they talk about." The girls agreed and after saying goodbye they headed back to Rory and Tristan's house.

"And then there were four." Ty said watching them go.

"Three." James corrected gently "Then there were three."

"Nope. Four. I swear Mike is probably watching the three of us and wondering why the hell he was ever friends with us in the first place." They sat in silence.

"How is it over there?" Tristan asked after a while.

"It's pretty rough." James replied honestly, they had long ago agreed not to sugar coat news. "Ty and I were split up for a while."

"I'm just glad to finally be home. It'll be nice to get a good night's sleep, and a shower." Ty added.

"You're a lucky bastard Tris; I mean you've been home for months. How is it to be able to sleep without ammunition blasts waking you up in the dead of night?"

"I wouldn't know," Tristan said quietly looking down at his empty glass "I haven't slept."

"Well at least you have a wedding to look forward to. When are you and Rory finally tying the knot anyway?" James asked trying to change the subject.

Tristan didn't respond.

"What the hell did you do now?" Ty asked. "Please tell me it wasn't something stupid."

Tristan cleared his throat "I called the engagement off."

"And it was something stupid." Ty said with a groan.

"Tris correct me if I'm wrong but you've been in love with this girl for 10 years now. You finally work up the nerve to ask her to marry you and now you back out? You must be crazy man." James said.

"I threw a picture frame at her." Tristan said quietly "I screamed at her and told her to get the hell out of my life. I couldn't stand to look at her.'

"Tristan she didn't do anything. You can't let what happened over there ruin your life with Rory." James replied.

"Mike died over there James!" Tristan declared raising his voice. "It wasn't just some walk in a fucking park. Our best friend died, in front of us! I'm sorry if I can't get over watching my friend die as fast as you."

James was about to reply but Ty cut off his angry response. "We didn't get over it Tristan. We know Mike died. It wasn't just you on that hill, we were there too! But we aren't letting it destroy our lives. We aren't giving up! That's you Tristan."

"It was my fault Mike died. I was in charge and he died on my watch. And then I get sent home to Rory and she treats me like she always had, she loved me. She's too good for me; she deserves someone better than a guy who can't even keep his friend alive." Tristan said quietly stumbling over the words.

Ty sighed rubbing a hand across his face. "Tristan it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have done anything differently. Mike was too stubborn to listen to you, but that doesn't make it your fault. You can't give up your life just because of guilt that you shouldn't even have to feel."

"Ty's right. There was nothing any of us could have done." James said "All you talked about since our junior year of high school is Rory don't throw away ten years over something that you couldn't control."

Ty's phone rang; he flipped it open and read the text message. "Kate wants to get home." He said standing up "And to be honest I might pass out if I don't get to bed."

James nodded throwing cash on the table to cover their last round. He clapped Tristan on the shoulder "It wasn't your fault." He repeated and left.

Tristan sat alone at the table staring into the bottom of his empty glass for a moment before getting up. He was walking out the door when his phone buzzed. It was a text from Rory.

**I'm lonely. Hurry home. Love you!**

Tristan ran a hand through his hair smiling at the words. Ty and James had been right about one thing he was an idiot if he let Rory walk out of his life.

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A/N: Okay so I have one word to describe this chapter…meh. It's basically filler because I had to get some stuff out of the way before the plot could actually move forward. Please let me know what you thought, reviews may encourage me to get the next chapter up…here is a sneak peek….

"**I love him mom." Rory whispered.**

"**I know you do kid, but sometimes love isn't enough to make things work." Lorelai replied trying to be as gentle as possible.**

"**But what if it is?"**

**Lorelai sighed "That sweetie is a choice only you can make."**

Please review!


	10. Scared

A/N: I think that this is the fastest that I have ever updated this story! It probably has to do with all the amazing reviews I received that got me to finish the chapter. Thank to everyone who reviews!

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Chapter 10: Scared

Rory was lying on the couch waiting for Tristan to get home. She had texted him more than half an hour ago and she still hadn't had any response. Ty and James had picked up Allie and Kate and soon after they had left Jill went too. So now it was just her alone in the house, it felt too quiet. She was staring at the clock debating whether or not to take the battery out of the clock when the phone rang. She snatched it off the table and answered without looking to see who was calling.

"Hello?" she said.

"Rory, you're awake." It was Tristan and she couldn't help but be confused by the disappointment in his voice.

"Yeah I am." She replied not sure of what else she could say.

"I have to go." He said quickly and was gone. Now she was more than a little concerned. That was weird even when measured against the standards of the last few months.

She ate her way through a pop tart while debating whether or not she should call him back. In the end she did but his phone went straight to voice mail. Her mind immediately ran through a list of possibilities; his phone was dead, he turned it off, he was screening her calls, he was being roasted on a spit by an axe wielding serial killer. She shook her head; she wasn't sure where that last one came from.

Instead she went to bed and read waiting for him to get home. But she was tired and soon she found herself loosing the battle against her drooping eyelids and falling asleep.

She woke up in pain. The hard cover of her book was jabbing in to her side. A little disoriented she looked around in the morning light. Tristan's side of the bed was still made. That serial killer scenario was becoming more likely.

She tried his phone again. It went right to voice mail. She looked at the clock, it was only a little after 8 but she had to know where he was so she dialed Allie's number.

"Hello?'" Allie answered her voice still thick with sleep.

"It's Rory. I'm sorry for calling you guys so early but I'm wondering if you know where Tristan is, he didn't come home last night."

"I have no idea." Allison replied "Let me wake James up and ask him."

Rory waited in silence for a minute before James came on the phone.

"Rory?" he said sounding only half awake.

"Do you have any idea of where Tristan is?" Rory asked trying to suppress the panic that she could feel building in her throat.

"No I don't." James said "The last time I saw him was at the bar last night when Ty and I headed to your place to pick up Allie and Kate."

Rory couldn't find words to speak.

"I'm sure he's fine Rory." James said trying to sound soothing despite his worry over his friend.

"I'm going to go call Ty and see if he has any idea of where Tristan would be."

"Okay." Rory said finding her voice "I'm going to call Jill, she was going to head over to the cemetery today, maybe Tristan went to visit Mike."

Rory hung up the phone and was dialing Jill's number before she had even heard the dial tone. Jill picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Jill, its Rory. Tristan never came home last night and no one knows where he his. We thought that he might have gone to visit Mike, could you check to see if he's there when you go." Rory said rushing through the words.

"I'm on my way over to the cemetery now." Jill said "I'll call you if I see him." And with that she hung up.

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"You owe me." Jill said turning to Tristan as she hung up the phone.

"Thanks Jill." Tristan said not meeting her gaze.

"Don't thank me. I just lied to one of my best friends. Rory's worried sick."

Tristan lifted his head to meet her eyes "I'm not sure what to do…" he admitted.

Jill didn't answer his question instead she took a step closer to Mike's grave stone and ran her hand against the cool granite surface. "Mike asked me to marry him at the airport." She said. "It was five minutes before his flight was supposed to leave to go overseas for an 8 month tour. And I said yes, despite all the fears that I had and all the nightmarish scenarios that I could see. I jumped, and I said yes."

Tristan opened his mouth to say something but Jill silenced him with no more than a look.

"You have no idea what its like." She continued. "You boys head over there to fight for this country but you have no idea what it feels like to be left at home, to spend every day flinching at the door bell and telephone. To spend every night lying awake praying that by some miracle that he'll make it home alive."

She turned away from her husband's grave "Rory does Tristan."

"I know she does. And it's not fair for her to worry."

Jill rolled her eyes "It's her choice Tristan. She chose to be with you despite the fact that she new that your first love would always be your job. She knew what she was getting herself into, just like Allie, Kate and I knew. You may be able to control a lot of things but whether or not Rory wants to be with you is not one of them. Its her choice and if you had any idea of how much she missed you, how she looked when those officers showed up that morning and how she lights up every time she sees you, you would understand that she's already made up her mind."

"She deserves better than what I can give her."

"Men." Jill muttered under her breath rolling her eyes again. "You don't get it Tristan. She may deserve better but it's you that she wants. What happens now is completely your choice."

They stood in silence, until Tristan spoke. "I'm sorry Jill." He said quietly.

Jill shook her head and looked towards Mike's grave. Tristan could see the tears in her eyes. "I had almost 7 years with him. Seven years of loving him and being loved by him and if I could I would do it all again. Every moment of fear was worth it." she said this more to herself that to Tristan but now she turned back to face him. "You have nothing to be sorry about Tristan. And I have nothing to regret."

She started walking away back to her car and then hesitated. She turned back toward him "The only thing you may have to be sorry for is breaking my friend's heart." She said and then walked on.

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It was dark when Tristan eased the front door opened slipped into the house. He was hoping to make it upstairs without waking her but on the third step she spoke. "Well look who's finally home." She said from the chair in the living room.

He turned from the stairs and walked into the room turning on the light. "Where the hell were you?' she asked sharply. Even from across the room he could see that she'd been crying.

"I'm sorry…" he started to say but she cut him off.

"I don't want an apology Tristan! I want to know where you've been! And why you couldn't tell me!"

"I needed to think." He said quietly looking at his feet.

"You needed to think." She repeated incredulously "Well I'm sorry but I don't give a shit about your needing to think! Do you have any idea of what it's like to not know where you are? Or if you're okay?" she shouted standing up.

He was silent.

"For months Tristan I have worried. About you making it home alive, about you getting well and about you overcoming what this last tour did to you! For months I've tried to help, tried to be there and make it easier! I've been sick with worry for months and now you just disappear? You walk away and can't even leave a damn note! Who the hell does that?" she took a breath. And for a minute all you could here was her breathing and the steady tick-tock of the clock.

"What the hell is this Tris?" she said barely above a whisper. "Why are we here?" she asked.

"Mary I…" he started to say but she cut him off.

"No, don't you Mary me. I'm asking you a question and I want a real answer."

He nodded "Rory I'm sorry. I was trying to figure things out; I was trying to get answers."

"Why can't we do that together? Why is it only you figuring things out? Why is it never us?" Rory shook her head. "Why am I here Tristan?"

"You're here because I love you." He said rushing to get the words out without thinking. "You're here because I want to marry you."

She was silent and shocked.

"We can get through this Rory. It might not be perfect but we can make it work. I want to marry you and be with you." He paused "We love each other, isn't that enough?"

Tears swam in Rory's eyes as she picked up a bag that was beside the chair. She paused as she walked by him.

"I don't know Tristan." She said quietly "I don't if it is anymore."

And then she walked out the front door, leaving him all alone.

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Rory made it to the end of the street before the tears took over. She sobbed for what seemed like forever. There was a part of her hoping that Tristan would come chasing after her and then there was the other part of her who needed to take a break.

She couldn't decide, she was so confused and she needed advice.

She needed to go home.

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"Rory?" Lorelai said shocked as she opened the front door.

Rory struggled to hold back tears "Mommy I don't know what to do." She managed to choke out.

Lorelai pulled her daughter into a hug and stroked her hair. "Okay baby, okay."

Lorelai pulled her daughter into the house and on to the couch. "Rory are you okay?" she asked utterly confused at why her daughter was so upset.

"I don't know mom. I just don't understand him anymore." Rory said wiping tears from her eyes.

"Tristan?" Lorelai confirmed.

Rory nodded "He's so different mom."

"Rory, he was fighting a war…"

"That's not what I mean. He's not Tristan anymore; he's so bitter and secluded sometimes. And then he'll pull a 180° and be sweet and loving. It makes my head spin because I can't keep up."

"Rory, sweetie you've got to tell me what happened." Lorelai said.

"He disappeared. He never came home one night and all the next day. He had turned his cell phone off and didn't tell anyone where he went. He was just gone."

"Maybe he needed to be alone."

"I've left him alone for month's mom! I've given him space and haven't pressured him to talk to me but not knowing where he was or if he was okay, it nearly killed me!" Rory said angrily. "And then he comes home, and he tells me that he loves me, and that he still wants to marry me! What was I supposed to say to that?"

Rory paused trying to keep from crying again. "Sometimes he doesn't seem like the Tristan I love anymore."

"What do you want me to say?" Lorelai asked her daughter.

"I want you to tell me what I should do."

"Rory you know I can't do that."

Rory sighed "I know, just tell me what you think."

Lorelai thought for a minute before speaking "I think that you and Tristan have been through a lot. And I think that you both have things that need to be worked out. Rory, it's your choice, but if you don't love him anymore then maybe…" she trailed off.

"I love him mom." Rory whispered.

"I know you do kid, but sometimes love isn't enough to make things work." Lorelai replied trying to be as gentle as possible.

"But what if it is?"

Lorelai sighed "That sweetie is a choice only you can make."

"I just want to go back to how we used to be."

"That's not possible sweets. You too have to figure out how to make today work not yesterday." Lorelai said wrapping an arm around her daughter.

"I'm scared mom." Rory said "I don't understand this, I can't figure it out. I love him so much, I would do anything for him but sometimes I hate him just because he makes me care so much."

Lorelai laughed softly "Baby, that's what love is about. Go get some sleep. Luke and Jace are camping this weekend so we have all day tomorrow to talk."

Rory nodded and got up from the couch "Thanks mom." She said turning back.

Lorelai smiled "I love you kid."

"Love you too." Rory said and walked into her room. She pulled on pajamas and crawled in between the covers.

She couldn't sleep. So instead she stared up at the ceiling and tried to imagine what her life would be like without Tristan.

She couldn't picture it.

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A/N: Et voila! I hope you liked this chapter. It was surprisingly easy to write, although that's probably because I know what comes next (insert evil laugh). Pleas let me know what you think and remember reviews make me write more!

Devaney


	11. Moving On

Chapter 11: Moving On

A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter. This is probably the 3rd last installment of this story.

This chapter was incredibly difficult to write because to be honest I wasn't sure what direction to go. The most difficult aspect would have to be in pacing the story. After the events of last chapter I didn't want Rory's love for Tristan to undermine her judgment in terms of the problems with their relationship, but on the other hand I didn't want there relationship to end. I did my best and I hope you enjoy it. Please review and let me know what you think, I wont update unless I have an idea of whether or not you like the direction in which this story is going.

Thanks,

Devaney

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Rory woke up feeling emotionally exhausted. She rolled over away from the light shining through the windows and shut her eyes wishing herself back to sleep. But the light was too bright.

Giving up on the hope of sleep she sat up in bed, too quickly. She stared at the doorway while her head spun. After a while she got up and walked into the kitchen, there was a cup of coffee and a note on the table.

_Rory,_

_I have to work today, Sookie managed to sprain her ankle making pancakes. I'll be home tonight._

_Love,_

_Mom _

Rory sat down at the table with her head in her hands. She had come home looking for answers and she was more confused than anything. She picked up the mug and took a sip of the coffee. It was cold. Sighing she stood up and walked to the sink and poured the coffee down the drain.

She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, staring at the black screen of the TV. She looked around her childhood home. It used to be the place where she felt the most comfortable, where she felt really at home.

Now it just made her feel lonelier.

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Tristan hadn't slept. He had sat all night in a chair facing the door, waiting and hoping that she would come home. She never did.

He ran a hand over his eyes trying to stay awake. He felt like shit. He deserved it.

He still couldn't believe that last night had happened. The scene kept replaying in his head. She had all those questions, questions that he should have answered. But he couldn't. And then he had said the stupidest thing he could.

He sighed running a hand through his hair.

He had asked her to marry him…in the middle of a fight. How stupid could he get?

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Rory stood by the window waiting for her mother to pull into the driveway. She looked over at her packed suitcase by the door. It had been 4 days since she had shown up on her mother's doorstep in tears and it was time to go home.

"Rory! I'm home!" Lorelai called walking through the doorway. "I was thinking that we could order pizza tonight…" she trailed off as she noticed the bag by the door. "Your leaving." She said as a statement, not a question.

"Yeah." Rory said. "It's time for me to get back."

"Have you made up your mind?" Lorelai asked.

Rory wasn't quite sure how to answer that question. "I'm a big girl mom. And as wonderful as its been to escape, I've got to go back to living my life."

Lorelai nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything less." She said, pulling her daughter into the hug. "I'm proud of you sweets, but remember you're never too old to be able to come home."

"I know." Rory said and the she picked up her bag and left.

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She called Tristan when her plane landed. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"It's Rory." She said. She heard his voice catch and then he pauses.

"Where are you?" he asked uncertainly and she could here the edge of hope is his voice.

"At the airport." She replied.

"Are you coming or going?" he asked quietly.

She felt the corners of her mouth turn up into a half-smile. "I'm on my way home." It felt so good to say those words.

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The house looked the same. She pulled into the driveway and turned the engine off gathering her courage. Her hand was on the door handle when the front door of the house opened.

She could see him pause. And she unconsciously took her hand off the handle for a moment. Then with a deep breath she got out of the car.

"Hey." He called walking to the car.

"Hey." She said back.

Tristan stopped a few feet from her his hands in his pockets. "Rory I'm…"

"It's been a long day do you think I could get into the house before we start this again?"

"Of course." He said grabbing her bag from the open trunk. "You're right."

The walked to the house side by side, in silence.

She took a breath as she walked in the doorway; it felt so good to be home. Her carefully crafted plan to wait before jumping into heavy conversation flew out the window.

She turned to Tristan "I'm not giving up on us."

He nodded the relief evident on his face "Neither am I." he replied.

"Good." She said nodding. "I'm going to shower can you order Chinese?" she asked.

"The usual." He said already picking up the phone.

"Yeah, the usual."

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They sat on the floor around the coffee table eating in silence, until Tristan finally spoke.

"I fucked up." He said taking another bite.

"Yeah you did." Rory said helping herself to more fried rice.

"I should have trusted you."

"Yeah, you should have." She replied quietly.

"I just didn't want to burden you more then I already had. But that plan didn't work too well.

"Nope." She said swallowing. "It was a stupid plan. But it was also sweet and that's why I love you."

Tristan tried not to choke on the chicken he was eating. "Really?" he asked surprised.

She put her food down. "I don't want to live in this fight anymore Tris. I want to move on, together, and we'll sort things out along the way. I want to move on and get to the good parts, if I've learned anything in the last year it's that you don't have time to worry about life, you've just got to live it."

"Are you sure?" he asked "I mean it's a little unlike you."

She nodded "I want to be with you Tristan. And now I know that no matter how bad a fight it is that won't change. I just want to go back to living our life."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I promise Rory I won't leave you out anymore.'

"Just promise not to lie to me." She whispered "That's all I need is for you to be honest."

"No lies." He agreed. "But you have to promise not to walk out. You have no idea how much that scared me baby." He shook his head at the memory "I don't think I could handle that again."

"I won't run anymore." She agreed.

"Okay." He nodded. They went back to eating. Tristan reached over and put his hand on Rory's knee. She placed her hand over his.

"Hey Tris?" she asked.

"Mmm?" he said.

"Remember how you proposed the other night?" she asked.

"Yeah that was wrong to…" he started to say but Rory cut him off.

"Yes." She said cutting him off.

"Yes what?" he asked turning to look at her.

She met his eyes and smiled. "Yes I'll marry you." She said.

"What…Really?" he asked, confused.

"Yes really." She laughed at the look on his face. "Now will you shut up and kiss me?"

Still looking a little dazed Tristan smiled…and did as he was told.

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Tristan was lying awake looking at the ceiling a smile on his face. Rory was lying on his arm her arms wrapped around his waist and soft smile on her face. He looked down at her left hand that was resting on his chest and smiled at the sight of the ring that was once again on her finger. Their life was back on track.

Rory turned over in her sleep, and snuggled into his side. He chuckled softly she always was a restless sleeper. He looked over to the clock on the nightstand and the smile left his face as he looked at the paper resting beside it.

_Commander DuGrey,_

_You are being called upon in the service of your country. You tour of duty leaves June 17__th__ at 08:00 hours._

The letter continued for a few more lines but none were as poignant as the first. He read the note over and over again as his own voice echoed in his head. 'No lies.' He had promised. But how the hell was he supposed to turn her world upside down again.

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It's short, I know. And I apologize. On the bright side however the rest of the chapters have been written meaning that if I get a good response from your reviews the next chapter can be up within a few days.

Devaney


	12. Covering Ground

A/N: Thank you to everyone who took the time to leave a review for the last chapter, they mean a lot.

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Chapter 12: Covering Ground

Rory awoke in the warm circle of Tristan's arms. She smiled; last night had been the best sleep she'd had in a long time. She turned in the circle of Tristan's arms to look at his face. His was still sleeping peacefully.

She looked at the clock it was well past noon. She didn't know what shocked her more the fact that she had slept through the night or that Tristan had slept in past 8, something that his military life had trained him to do.

She kissed his bare chest and interlocked his fingers with hers. She watched as his eyelids fluttered open and his deep blue eyes looked into hers. "Mmm morning." He said pulling her closer and pressing his face into her hair. "You smell good." He said kissing the top her head.

"You're strange." She said laughing. But she relaxed back into his arms and just enjoyed the feeling.

"We haven't done this in a while." He said stroking her hair back from her face.

She nodded "You're right. But I have no idea why. We should do it more often." She sighed "Like everyday for the rest of our lives."

"I agree." He said. She could here something else in his voice though, something that he wasn't telling her.

She turned so that she could see his face. "What is it Tris?" she whispered, holding her breath that the conversation they had had last night wasn't just a dream.

"I have to tell you something." He said quietly.

She nodded and sat up wrapping the sheet tighter around her torso.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I have a feeling that I should be sitting up for the next part." She said.

He reached over and interlaced his fingers with hers. "While you were gone I got a notice in the mail."

"A notice?" she asked, "Like that we need to renew our paper subscription?"

He chuckled without humor "I wish." Still holding on to her hand he reached over to the drawer in the night stand and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He handed it to her wordlessly, but gripped her fingers tighter as she opened it and started to read.

She felt the breath leave her lungs as she read the words on the paper. "You just got home." She whispered her voice cracking.

"I know." He said "We're short on troops over there; people are getting stop-lost every day."

"No." she said shaking her head as the tears filled her eyes. "No, no, no, no." she gripped his fingers tighter "I can't let you go again, I cant."

He could feel his heart breaking as he looked at her face. He took her into his arms and held her close. "Baby please don't cry." He whispered stroking her back. "Sweetheart, you know I can't stand it when you cry."

She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "We were getting back on track again." She said wiping her eyes "We were going to get married." She sniffed choking back a sob "I hate your job." She cried into his chest.

He pulled her tight again and this time he just held her while she cried, trying to keep his own emotions under control.

After a while she pulled back, just enough to see his face. "I'm not letting you go." She said desperately.

He smiled "Okay Mary." He said "That works for me."

"I'm serious." She said.

He chuckled "I know."

The lay there for a while just holding each other until Tristan had to break the silence with reality. "Baby, I'm going to have to go." He said sighing "No matter how tightly you hold on."

"I know." She whispered. "I do hate your job." She said again.

"I'm sorry." He said not knowing what else to say.

"But you love it." she sighed.

"I love you more." He replied he paused for a moment before he spoke again. "I have to go this time, there is no backing out but…when I get back…I'm eligible for discharge." He said.

Rory sat up "Are you serious?" she asked turning so she could read his face "But you love the army."

He nodded "But I love you more." He paused "And if I had to choose between you and the job, I would pick you every time."

"Thank you Tristan." She said throwing her arms around his neck. "I love you."

He smiled "Why don't you show me?" he asked pulling her closer.

She smirked moving so she was straddling his legs.

"That's an evil look Mary." He said smiling.

"I stole it from you." She replied wickedly as she kissed him.

"I really like that look." He said as she moved her kisses to his neck.

Suddenly Rory pulled back and moved off his lap.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"Tristan I don't want to let you leave…" she started to say but Tristan cut her off.

"I know Rory but I'll be back."

She shook her head "Let me finish. I don't want to let you leave at all, but I really don't want to let you leave…without getting married first."

"I leave in less than a month Rory." He said seriously.

"I know." She said.

"You won't be able to have your dream wedding." He said.

"I know Tris, and I don't care. I just want to marry you. I don't care if it's in a fancy ceremony or if we go to Vegas I just want it to happen."

She looked up to him pleading with her big blue eyes.

"Of course." He said laughing when she threw her arms around him again "But I'm pretty sure we can pull together something better than a drive-through in Vegas." He said.

"Thank you Tristan." She said settling back into his lap.

"Don't thank me." He said "It's what I want too."

She smiled. "No where were we?" she asked brushing her lips against his.

"I think we were right about there." He said wrapping his arms around her.

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It had been a week since Rory had found out that Tristan was being shipped out again. Since then she had been spending almost every moment planning their wedding. Her mom had flown down from Connecticut. Rory had expected Lorelai to have some reservations about their quick reconciliation but her mother had surprised her. Lorelai had merely said that she knew true love when she saw it.

"Mom this one doesn't work." Rory called from the fitting room. She sighed as the sales woman helped her out of what seemed like the hundredth dress.

"Are you sure Rory?" her mom called.

"Oh yeah." She replied.

"Well I'm not sure if there isn't anything else here sweetie, I've got four people scouring the store for options but…" Lorelai trailed off "RORY!" she called "I've found it!"

"What?"

"It's perfect!" Lorelai called walking into the dressing room, a dress draped over her arm. "Quick go try it on!"

Rory tried on the dress careful not to step on the fabric. She stood away from the mirror as her mom zipped up the back. She took a deep breath as she turned to look in the mirror.

She was at a loss for words "It's…"

"Perfect?" the sales woman suggested.

Rory nodded.

Lorelai laughed "I can't wait to see Tristan's jaw hit the floor when you walk down the aisle."

Rory laughed as tears filled her eyes. It was –finally- happening.

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A/N: This chapter was short, but I felt like they covered so much ground that adding more would take away the importance of their conversation. The story has officially come full circle, well not quite, but if I had kept the original opening chapter it would have. In my original plan this was where the story ended, you never did get to see the actual wedding. But this story tends to have a mind of its own and when I (finally) reached this point, I couldn't stop. Anyways let me know what you thought of this chapter, the more reviews the faster I'll post!


	13. Enough

A/N: Well here it is the final chapter. But first some thank-yous. Firstly to my incredible beta Anne Delaney who took the time to correct my appalling grammar, and who put up with my obnoxious habit of completely re-writing chapters that you have already beta-ed.

Secondly to my reviewers who are all incredible and who supported this story. Thanks guys!

Chapter Thirteen: Enough

Tristan had never been so nervous in his life. His hands were shaking a little as he did up the buttons on his uniform, today was d-day.

He was getting married.

"He looks petrified." James said to Ty as they sat on the couch watching Tris do up his jacket.

"Well he is joining the ranks of the married men." Ty said "And let us not forget that it was you who threw up on your wedding day."

"I was hung-over." James grumbled "Because my best man decided that the bachelor party should be the night before the wedding."

Ty raised his hands in surrender "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Tristan turned to face his best friends "Hey guys not to sound demanding or anything but I do have one question for you before I let you get back to your riveting conversation." Tristan paused "Did you boys remember the ring?"

"James got it." Ty said.

"Ty has it." James said at the same moment as Ty declared that James did.

"Shit." They both said together.

"Please say you're joking!" Tristan said desperately.

"Crap. The ring's at my house." James said. "I put it on my dresser when Allie asked me to zip up her dress. And then I didn't pick it up."

Tristan ran to the window and looked outside into the backyard. It had been transformed by Rory and her mom. There were rows of white chairs set up for the guests and the aisle was lined with sunflowers, Rory's favourite. But what got his attention was the fact that the chairs were being filled; the ceremony was going to begin.

Tristan turned, his planning instincts took over. "Okay here's the plan James you run to your house and get the ring, I don't care how many speeding tickets you get doing it just get back here fast!" He turned to Ty "You go distract everyone so they don't know that we're running late! And get Kate, Jill and the rest of the girls to keep Rory occupied!"

The boys nodded and were sprinting out of the room when Allie walked in. "Whoa, where are you headed in such a hurry?" she asked.

"Oh nothing." James said innocently.

"Nothing my ass." Ty supplied helpfully "James here left the ring at your house."

"It was an accident!" James protested after elbowing Ty in the side.

Allie was fighting to keep a straight face. "I can't." she said breaking down in laughter and holding out her hand. "I was going to chew you out about forgetting it" she said between laughs "but the look on your face was just priceless." She opened her hand and in her upturned palm was the ring.

"You're my hero!" Tristan said laughing in relief. "If your husband wasn't here I could kiss you Allie!"

"James turn around." Allie said teasingly.

James was about to object when Lorelai's voice interrupted them "Five minutes to go!" she called from the bottom of the stairs.

Suddenly Tristan felt nervous again. But it wasn't the gnawing nervousness from earlier. His was more like anticipation, in five minutes they would start their life together.

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"I'm getting married in five minutes." Rory said not sure whether to smile or cry.

"And you look beautiful." Jill her maid of honor said handing her the bouquet.

"Were you nervous?" Rory asked her.

Jill smiled "I was so nervous I thought I was going to pass out walking down the aisle." She put an arm on Rory's shoulder. "But then I saw Mike standing there in his uniform. And he smiled at me and there was so much love in that smile that I couldn't get down the aisle fast enough." She wiped her cheek where a tear had fallen.

"Oh Jill, I'm sorry." Rory said "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay." Jill said squeezing Rory's hand, "It's good to remember. They're happy moments."

"Knock knock." Kate and Allie said from the doorway.

"Tristan and the boys just went downstairs." Kate announced passing Allie her bouquet. "Lets go Rory." She smiled.

The girls made there way down the stairs carefully to avoid catching Rory's train. They made there way to the glass French doors at the back of the house that led outside.

The girls opened the doors and the music started. Kate, Allie, and Jill walked past her each squeezing her hand as they went by.

And then it was her turn. She took a deep breath and walked towards her future.

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Tristan felt the air leave his lungs as she appeared in that doorway. She was so beautiful. She glowed as she walked towards him.

She was his. He thought and the thought made him smile with more joy then he had felt in his life.

When Rory saw him smile she knew what Jill meant. It took all her self control to not run down the aisle and into his arms. The 10 steps to reach him took eons but she finally got there and he took her hands.

"God you're beautiful." He whispered to her. All she could do was smile.

"Welcome everyone." The minister began "We are here today to celebrate the love and marriage of Tristan and Rory."

Rory tuned out as the speech continued she squeezed Tristan's hands and he gripped hers back.

"Tristan, do you promise to promise to cherish and love Rory each day of your life? In sickness and in health? In good times and in bad? For every moment all the days of your lives?"

The crowd faded away as Tristan gazed into her eyes. "I do." He promised.

"Rory, do you promise to cherish and love Tristan each day of your life, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for every moment all the days of your lives?"

Rory smiled "I do." She promised.

"Then with the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife."

"Finally." James and Ty coughed under their breath.

The minister smiled "Son, you may now kiss the bride." He said to Tristan, who was more than happy to oblige.

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"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" Tristan asked Rory as they sat out under the stars and their reception with their family and friends.

"Only 43 times." She replied "But I'm not really complaining."

"43?" he asked "I could have sworn it was only 39?"

She shook her head "You said it four times in your speech." She said. Tristan's speech had made her (and every other woman in the room) cry.

"Excuse me?" Jill's voice interrupted them. She was standing at the table glass in hand. "I have a speech to make."

"Did you know about this?" Tristan asked Rory.

"No idea." She said shaking her head.

"Now as some of you may know" Jill said "There is no best man at this wedding. The reason behind that is that Tristan asked my husband Mike to be his best man before they shipped off on their last tour." Jill paused "Mike was killed weeks later." She wiped her eyes but continued. "It's the best man's job to toast the groom, and it was a job that Mike took seriously. In his journal I found a speech that he had started to write for Rory and Tristan's wedding which was supposed to happen after they returned from duty." Jill turned to Tristan "I'm sure he would have wanted you to hear it." she said her voice breaking.

Rory reached for Tristan's hand. Jill took a deep breath and started to read from a small leather book.

"Welcome everyone to the union of two people who are more ridiculous than anyone else I will ever know. They have been in love for ten years. Ten years, and it's taken them this long to finally tie the knot. Now I can't exactly blame Rory but I have to ask Tris, what the hell took you so long? For the last ten years as the rest of us searched for the girls of our dreams you already had yours. You're pretty lucky that she waited around for you." Jill paused and the guests laughed.

Tristan smiled at Rory and kissed her forehead.

Jill cleared her throat and continued. "Enough with the teasing." She read. "In all honesty Rory you could not have found a better man. For many years I have been lucky enough to have Tristan as a roommate, a commander, a friend and a brother. He's more dedicated then anyone I've met and when I'm stuck in the desert there is not one I'd rather have watching my back. He is an incredible leader, a better soldier and a best friend and Rory you have a husband who will love you every second of your lives…" Jill trailed off and closed the book. Everyone was silent. Rory wiped the tears from her cheeks and saw Tris run a hand over his face subtly doing the same.

Jill smiled through her tears and raised her class. "Tristan and Rory, Mike would have been so happy to see this moment. Congratulations you guys…from the both of us." She paused "To the bride and groom." She toasted and the rest of the crowd responded.

Jill walked back to where Tristan and Rory were sitting. She smiled unsurely "I didn't mean to make you cry at your wedding." She said.

Rory opened her mouth but Tristan beat her to it. "Thank you Jill. That meant more than I could tell you."

Jill nodded. "He meant more than I could say."

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"Don't go." Rory begged tears in her eyes.

Tristan felt like his heart was shattering at the look on her face. "God, baby I don't want to." He whispered taking her face in his hands.

"I know." She said sniffing. "It…it just hurts."

He couldn't put what he was feeling into words so instead he just hugged her to him until the announcement for his flight ran out through the airport.

Rory pulled back and wiped her tears. She cupped her hand to his cheek. "You be safe." She commanded.

He nodded leaning into her hand. "I love you baby." He said bending to kiss her.

"I love you more." She whispered as he moved away.

He squeezed her hand one more time before he turned away. He walked through the gates without looking back, he knew if he did that he wouldn't leave. It was torture walking away from her. So instead he thought to the future; when he would walk through those gates and into her arms and not have to worry about leaving her again.

Rory watched as he strode forward looking every inch the military man that he was. She felt the tears well up again as well as pride. She focused on that feeling. The fear would come later but for now she was just going to love him every day, and hope for the best.

It was all she could do.

And it was enough.

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A/N: Well there it is. This is the last chapter. It's hard to believe that it's finally finished. Please let me know what you thought of the chapter, or of the story. And let me know also if you would like me to add on the epilogue. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it's a pleasure to write for such amazing reviewers.

Devaney


	14. Full Circle

A/N: Wow this was a long time coming and I apologize for the wait. This chapter was quite possibly the most difficulty I have ever had writing. I went through countless drafts, toying with dozens of ideas. I was so frustrated at one point that I nearly killed Tristan off! Not to worry, the insanity passed and I finally wrote an ending. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story! You are all amazing!

Epilogue: Full Circle

Rory fingered each of the worn pages before placing them carefully back into the torn envelopes. She ran a finger across his messy writing. She could see him scrawling her name and address across the front of each letter in a rush to get them in the mail.

There were 330 letters, one for each day of the 11 months he was gone. At the end of each letter he had written 'with all my heart'. For 11 months that had been the phrase she lived by. Each time a letter had arrived she had ripped it open eagerly her eyes scanning the page before coming to rest on those 4 little words.

She carefully placed the letters into their box, closing the lid with finality.

That part of her life was over, but sometimes it helped to remember. It was like a bad habit really; the way she would hole up in the closet reading his familiar words. Sometimes she smiled, sometimes she cried, but she couldn't bring herself to let well enough alone.

She stood up from the floor of her closet and brushed the dust off her jeans. Standing on her toes she tried to reach the top shelf to place the box back in its place.

She didn't flinch as two hands wrapped around her waist. "Need some help?" a deep voice asked as hands reached up to take the box from her arms and place it back on its shelf.

"Thanks." She said turning in the circle of familiar arms.

"Hey?" Tristan said bringing his hand up to cup her cheek "Why so sad?"

She smiled "I'm not sad."

"Really?" he asked smirking "Then what's with the tissues?" he said gesturing to the pile on the floor.

She sighed "I was reading your letters."

"Again?" he asked "Why don't you just throw those things out? They make you sad every time you see them."

She nodded "But they make me happy too." She reached down to hold his hand "They remind me of how much I love you and how much you gave up for me."

He started to shake his head but she put her finger to his lips. "No. No talking for you. The letters are a part of our history and there is no way I'm getting rid of them."

He threw his hands in the air "Fine. I'm not going to bring it up. I just hate seeing you sad."

"I know." She grabbed his hand.

He rolled his eyes "Sometimes I just don't understand you."

She laughed "I'm a woman babe, you're not supposed to!"

Tristan bent down to pluck a piece of paper off the floor. "Looks like you missed one." He said holding it out to her.

She took the envelope and glanced down at the date. "This was the last one." She said with a smile.

Tristan took the envelope with interest as he pulled Rory out of the closet and to the bed. "I don't even remember what I wrote." He said nonchalantly.

"Really?" Rory asked surprised and a little stung. She knew almost every word by heart.

"Nope." He said shaking his head.

Rory pulled a single sheet of paper out from the envelope. "I remember opening this and being pissed off because it was so short." She said smiling.

Tristan rolled his eyes "Yeah that sounds like you; pissed off because your husband who is fighting in a war torn country didn't have time to write you a letter the length of _War and Peace_."

"I have my standards." Rory insisted defiantly, unfolding the paper. "Dear Mary," she started to read.

_It's been too long. Too long since I've seen you, since I've held you and far too long since I've kissed you. Instead I'm halfway across the world thinking of you and wishing that you were in my arms tonight. You probably have some idea of how that feels. Tonight it's worse for some reason. Maybe it's because it's too hot. Or the fact that the food sucks more than the first time you tried to cook dinner. It could also be the fact that I have sand in places a man really doesn't want sand to be! So tonight I realize what you mean when you tell me "I miss you so much that it hurts."_

_Hmm James and Ty are going to kick my ass if they ever read this. What would they think of their Commander going soft? But to be honest I don't give a damn, I just want to be home!_

_How is everything? I've asked that question so many times in the last months that it probably seems redundant now. How's your mom? Luke? Not to mention my little brother-in-law (by the way it's still weird to have a brother in law who is 7)? What about the girls? Tell Jill congratulation on the new job, I always saw her as a teacher! She can whip those first graders into shape! Tell Allie and Kate hi for me, and make sure to mention that their husbands are annoying as hell sometimes!_

_But most importantly how are you? Is everything at the house okay? Did those guys get the pipe in the basement fixed? I can see you rolling your eyes at me when you read this…but I'm your husband, I'm allowed to worry! Does it still sound weird to you? Husband…wife. We only had a week before I left…I can't wait until I have the chance to actually __**be **__your husband (And yes that does include the dirty stuff)._

Rory laughed. And cleared her throat as she began to read the last lines, she looked up startled when Tristan recited them along with her.

_I love you sweetheart. More than I could ever say. I'll be home as soon as I can. With all my heart,_

_Tristan._

Rory looked up trying to keep tears from surfacing "I thought you didn't remember what you wrote?"

Tristan smiled "It came back to me."

Rory carefully folded the letter back into its envelope.

"I remember writing this and thinking that I would probably be home before it got to you." Tristan paused, remembering "But someone" he looked at her with a grin "made me promise to write every day, so that's what I did."

Rory nodded "Such a good military man following orders." Tristan rolled his eyes. "Actually I got this letter just before I left to meet you at the airport."

"I knew you had been crying that day!" Tristan exclaimed.

"How do you remember that?" Rory asked "That was the first time you had seen me in nearly a year and the first thing you noticed is that I had been crying?"

Tristan shook his head "No it was the second thing I noticed."

"What was the first?" Rory asked leaning against his chest.

"I noticed how incredibly beautiful you were." He said wrapping his arms around her.

"I was wearing jeans and a shirt of yours!" Rory exclaimed rolling her eyes.

Tristan laughed. "The shirt was on backwards too." He shifted her in his arms so that he could see her face. "But you were still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen."

Rory brought her hand up to stroke his cheek "Funny, that's exactly what I was thinking about you."

Tristan smiled bringing his forehead to brush against hers "See, we were made for each other." he said and kissed her.

Rory smiled against his lips.

She couldn't agree more.

A/N: Well there you have it. It's simple, and very much them. I hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know what you thought!

Thank you to everyone who read the story but especially to everyone who takes the time to review! You are all the best readers a writer could ask for!

Devaney


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